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What if you're in a dynamic and it's just you've met this person at the club and it's just like glory holes and things like that and what the kink is, you want to enter the room and not even say a single word to this person. What if that is, you know, your kink? And are those dynamics not valid? Welcome to the Doms of Living podcast, where you'll learn how to break free from the vanilla brett, unlock your true potential as a dominant or submissive, and finally make BDSM a lifestyle. I'm your kinky guide, Alessandra. So when you're navigating the complex world of BDSM, you want to do so safely. And choosing the right framework for your practice is crucial, but it can be confusing. In this episode, we're diving deep into SSC, RAC, and prick. So which one of these acronyms is right for you? Well, let's break down each protocol to find out. Now, if you don't know what any of these terms means, don't worry, we'll go over that. But I also got you covered with my free kink dictionary. So you can grab it for free at domsubliving.comslash dictionary, and it includes over 30 of the most common terms in BDSM. So that way you won't feel left out or feel like a newbie. So again, you can grab it for free at domsubliving.com slash dictionary. But this question of which term is the right one to use actually came up recently in my Dom Subliving community and it sparked a really good discussion. So I thought I would be just sharing some of my own personal thoughts and opinions here. But I just want you to know that just because you know I say these things doesn't mean that it is gospel or you have to do them in your dynamic. Definitely use the terminology that fits you. So we're going to be covering what each of these means, what are the pros and cons of each one, and what I personally use in my own dynamic. So let's start off with SSC, because this one is probably the most popular. This is probably the one that you have heard the most. I've actually used it a lot on my blog too. So what SSC stands for is safe, sane, and consensual. And so just like I'm gonna be talking about with each of these, there's some pros and cons to the SSC model. So the pros for SSC is that it's pretty simple. It's just three letters: safe, sane, consensual. We're all pretty much familiar with it. It's you know, the community has been using it for decades. So, you know, you've probably used it, you know, you've had friends that have used it, and it just seems the most common and the most simple. But this is becoming an outdated term, unfortunately. So for a few reasons. So the first con when it comes to SSE is with the word safe, and that is because nothing is really safe when it comes to BDSM. And even in the case of sex, um, a lot of people have stopped using the term safe sex because there is all sex can be, you know, have risks involved. And so people are now using the term safer sex because you can't be 100% safe. So it's the same with BDSM. Nothing we do in BDSM is 100% safe. And so even if you, you know, get started and you're you're doing something, you know, really simple like handcuffs, well, there can be, you know, risks to that. You can pinch nerves, cut off circulation. There's a ton of things that can go wrong. So to say that your dynamic and your scenes need to be safe is, you know, kind of limiting yourself because again, nothing is safe, but also part of why we get into BDSM is for the thrill of it. We want things that are kind of risky and unsafe. And so that's why, you know, maybe saying safe, saying consensual isn't always going to be the best thing that we should be using to describe BDSM. But the other reason why SSC is kind of outdated is because of the word sane in it. Because a lot of people will feel that the word sane is kind of ableist because they feel like it implies that people with mental illness can't practice BDSM, which isn't the case. I did a whole episode about my battles with mental illness. And so, you know, if you have, you know, mental illness, you can still practice BDSM. But where sane kind of came from is it's still a legal term. You know, I'm sure you've heard in movies and stuff like that, like, you know, oh, he's pleading insanity, or you know, is he legally sane? And so I think not so much the the medical diagnosis, but more the legal aspect. So when we're talking about sane in BDSM, we're really meaning that we don't want to get involved with kink or with someone who's practicing kink. If they do have a mental condition that like makes it so they can't know what's right from wrong. So that is like the legal definition of like insanity. It's when you have both of those two things, where it's when you have a medical condition and that medical condition, you know, interferes with your ability to know right from wrong. And so even though it's still being used by you know the legal system, the term sane is becoming outdated. So, you know, you might want to, you know, use it with caution if you're you know saying that, you know, SSC publicly that you might know that you might offend some people. So that is why, you know, SSE is becoming a little outdated. I have heard people start using the term SSCE, meaning safe, saying, consensual, ethical, um, to just kind of put on top of it that what you need, you know, should be doing should be ethical too. And if you've been listening to this podcast for a while or following me, you know, like my whole gripe about the whole ethical thing, that, you know, a lot of what we do in BDSM would be considered unethical. If you're looking at it at surface value, it is even almost downright abusive, the things that we do, but it is consensual. So, um, you know, with ethical, we start getting into judgment areas. What's what's ethical for one person may not be ethical for another person. Um, so I know people are slapping that ethical term onto everything. I've even heard with um CNC with consensual non-consent, they say it needs to be ethical CNC. And it's kind of been my case that when people need to slap that ethical term onto everything, it's almost a way of protecting themselves because almost sometimes they know that they're doing predatory things or unethical things and things that may be, you know, in a very bad light, even in the BDSM community, and they kind of say, Well, I'm doing it ethically. I I I put that term onto what I'm doing and just kind of hiding behind that. So, you know, when when people really push the ethical thing, you know, I kind of, you know, have to take it with a grain of salt. But so I'm getting off topic, but so SSC, you know, is one probably the most popular term that people use for discussing their safety protocols. So the next term you may or may not have heard, and this is probably, you know, the second most popular, and that is rack, and that stands for risk aware consensual kink. And so um you may hear, you know, more people using this term as it becomes more popular. I've definitely seen it more and more, and I'll I'll be sharing some places where you were will most typically see it. But as far as the pros, the good things about RAC, I do like that, you know, we are discussing risk, and it is good to know, you know, about all the risk involved with BDSM because, you know, there can be some things that are risky in BDSM. You can get hurt, so you should know those things. And a lot of dungeons will use the term rack because, you know, it's almost like a liability issue or an insurance issue, is um, they don't want to be held liable for things that may happen in their dungeon. So they want to, you know, kind of have the this disclaimer that, you know, that everyone should be following RAC, and that means risk-aware consensual kink. And, you know, you may see that on their websites. I know I've gone to dungeons and I've even seen it like printed out and put on the wall in different rooms that, you know, when you're playing in this area, make sure you abide by rack and what that means. So, um, but there are some cons to this. I do have my own personal thoughts. So I think what I think rack is good in terms of, you know, BDSM dungeons and public play areas like that. And, you know, definitely making sure that, you know, people are aware of the things that will be going on there. But what I don't like is that it kind of, if you are just getting started with BDSM, or you're a vanilla person and you hear about BDSM and you hear about Rack, it kind of puts BDSM in this negative light because first of all, we're starting with the word risk. So, you know, maybe you just read 50 Shades of Gray, or you you watch the movie and you're like, Yeah, I want to get into BDSM. This sounds kinky, this sounds fun. Let me Google what I should get started with. And the first thing that you hear is risk, like red alert, there is risk involved in what you're about to do. That can just totally turn people off. And I always say BDSM, BDSM should be fun. So we don't want to turn people off from BDSM by just leading with, you know, well, the first thing you need to know is rack and that there's risk involved with BDSM. I think that can, you know, just put BDSM in this bad light. And not all, you know, practices in BDSM would I even consider risky. So, you know, even just having the sub kneel before bed, I mean, like, would we say that is risky and you need to know the risks in that? Or even, you know, using blindfolds, like, would we say, okay, well, before you start using a blindfold, you need to know the risks involved with that. So I think it's a little overkilled for um a lot of people getting started with BDSM, but I do think it definitely has its place in more of the hardcore areas and definitely dungeons and events and things like that. So the next one we're gonna talk about is prick, and that is personal responsibility, informed, consensual kink. So there's some, you know, good things about this. Again, you know, we should all be personally responsible for you know learning about what BDSM involves, staying informed, knowing, you know, the risks involved. So, yes, we all should be personally informed. But as for the cons, so I I think I have a lot of cons with this one. First of all, it's a mouthful. So again, it is, I have to read it. It's like personal responsibility, informed, consensual kink. So, you know, we're just, I feel at this point like adding more and more letters. So it is a mouthful, it is a lot to take in, you know. But when we take the I informed, um, not everyone wants to be informed when it comes to BDSM. I mean, you have people practicing consensual non-consent, and and yes, they need to know the overreaching, you know, aspects of CNC, but part of CNC is not being informed because it's doing things that maybe you haven't consented to in that moment. Um, you know, and I have a whole article on CNC, so you can, you know, search on my site for that. You know, I won't go into it, but you know, again, what's being informed for one person may look totally different for another. Um the other reason I have a huge problem with prick is because when we're saying, you know, personal responsibility and that you need to take personal responsibility, that can be used to kind of victim blame people. Um, so if you get involved in a scene that goes horribly wrong, then you know, someone can tell you, like, oh, well, you should have, you know, been more informed and you know, took more responsibility upon yourself to, you know, had better safe words or, you know, and it's just a way of like victim blaming, victim shaming, and just saying, well, that was your responsibility. You know, it's the whole like your fault, you know, it should have been, it was on you to make sure that this didn't happen. And that is not the case. It also can be your used by like people like fake DOMs because they feel like, okay, well, you know, I don't have the responsibility anymore to educate my subs and to make sure, you know, that they're consenting because now it's all about personal responsibility. So it's all on them. I don't need to do my part as a DOM and to make sure that my subs are safe because it's all about personal responsibility now. So again, I think that there is just, you know, a lot of issues with prick that, you know, aren't necessarily going to better the BDSM community. I think a lot of these like they they've kind of like built on each other to kind of you know fill in the gaps of where the other one was like short and you know, fell short and missed some things, but we're just adding more problems on top of it. I do have a bonus one that is becoming more and more popular, and this is CCCC. So again, we're lots of letters at this point, but this one stands for caring, communication, consent, and caution. So you'll see this one in more of like long-term 24-7 dynamics, or maybe it's like even loving master slave relationships. And so this is kind of again building on where the other ones might have fell short and trying to, I think, make it more personal and unique for those types of dynamics where it is more of like this 24-7 almost loving dynamic. So, my issues with the four C's, what that's what it's also called, is just again, it's a a mouthful. It's a a lot of letters, it's a lot of words. And so when you're, you know, starting out, it can be hard to remember all these things and go by these things. But um another thing, another like con about it is that first word caring, because BDSM dynamics are so diverse. And I think this is why it's so hard to pick one acronym for all the different types of dynamics out there, but caring, not all dynamics are are caring, and and I know we're not talking about even so much as like love, but just you know, that we care about the other person as a human being on a human being level. But like to that, I say, well, what about like degradation, where the kink is you don't even see that person as a human being, you may see that person as a dog, as a piece of furniture, or just as a whole, even like those dynamics are just as valid. So, you know, there's you know degradation where you you don't even like respect the person, and that is what the kink is. And so I think the four C is just it it doesn't apply to every single dynamic. So I think it's more if if the four C's fit your personal dynamic, and that's what makes you feel comfortable, then like yes, use it. But the other words in the four C's, so communication. So obviously I'm always talking about communication, I'm always harping on it, I'm always saying, you know, communicate, communicate, communicate. But again, what about those dynamics where like they don't really have communication? Like, what if you know you're in a dynamic and it's just like you you've met this person at the club and it's just like even like you know, glory holes and things like that. And what the kink is is like you want to enter the room and not even say a single word to this person. Like, what if that is your, you know, your kink? Um, and are those dynamics not valid? Um, you know, in the last letter, you know, caution again, I just feel like it puts BDSM in this negative light. You know, when you think of caution, you think of the yellow caution sign, you know, you know, be alert. And it's just putting, you know, BDSM in this negative light. So I'm not, you know, I know this is like knocking all of these, and I'm really not. I'm just really trying to say, okay, here are the pros, here are the cons. Make your own decisions and you know, pick what feels right for you. Um, for me personally, you know, I have still been using SSC just because that is what people know, and it is just kind of like the most simplest. Um, you know, again with the the sane thing, it's you know, kind of this gray area. You know, I know people have, you know, called me out and said it's ableist. Um, and you know, it's against people with mental illness, but like go and listen to my episode all about mental illness. I feel like, you know, that people are, you know, calling me out for something that directly affects me. Like, I think terms like crazy or even saying, like, oh my gosh, that's insane. Like using those words in different contexts, like that's what's ableist, you know, calling, you know, women crazy and things like that. Like, I I think at least how I feel is when we talk about SSC, that we're talking about it more in that legal framework, that you need to be in a mental capacity to know what's right from wrong. Um, and and I know that there is some, you know, calls for even taking the term SAIN out of, you know, the courtroom and legal aspects like that. So it just really highlights we need a better acronym. And I'm at the point now where I'm not like, okay, well, let's create another acronym or let's find another acronym, or I'm really at the point where, so this is what I personally feel. This is how I personally um, you know, do this in my own dynamic, is we just do consensual. So um, you know, you noticed in all of those different acronyms that consent was in all of those, some type of consent. And that's really just what I've been, you know, pushing and promoting lately is just consent, that we all need to just consent because what's safe for one person may not be safe for the other, what is ethical to one person may not be ethical to the other, that nothing is completely safe in BDSM, but we also don't want to be negative and say that nothing is safe in BDSM, and we also don't want to victim blame, and it's just there's so much. So it's like, let's just keep it simple. Like, let's just say consensual. Keep BDSM consensual. And one of Dom Subliving's core values. If you go on our website and you search for our core values, one of our core Values is consent is sacred, and so that's just kind of what I've been leading with. That consent is sacred. I will say though, if I do ever open my own dungeon, which I would love to, and me and Jay have actually talked about it, but if I do ever open my own dungeon, I will probably use Rack just for the liability aspects of it and just making sure that everyone is aware of the risks involved. So, you know, I have no qualms when I go to a dungeon or someone else is like hosting a play party that you know rack is really you know pushed, you know, I I totally 100% agree with that. But again, I think the biggest thing is just consent. Make sure whatever you are doing, you are consenting to, and that your partner is consenting to it as well. And I will say with prick, as far as the informed goes, like I do push education. Obviously, I'm a BDSM educator. Obviously, you're listening to this episode. I I love to teach and educate others on all of these topics. So I do think, you know, being informed and educating yourself is important, but I don't think that, you know, we should gatekeep. And I I feel like that's what a lot of these terms do is we gatekeep. We say, oh, we're not using that term anymore, we're using this term, and then you know, a year later it's like, oh, this is the new term we're using, and and oh, you didn't know your, you know, your personal responsibility, you know, with that scene you just did. So let's just stop with the gatekeeping and make sure everyone is consenting. But so there you have it. And if you're curious about all the other BDSM terms out there, I know there's a lot, so I got you covered. You can grab my free kink dictionary at domsubliving.com slash dictionary. It includes over 30 of the most common terms in the BDSM community, so you can stop feeling left out or looking like a newbie, so you can grab it for free at DomSubliving.comslash dictionary. I hope you enjoyed this episode. Thank you for joining me and being a part of the Dom Subliving community. You can check out all of the details and links for this episode in the description and show notes. And be sure to hit subscribe so you never miss an episode. But until next time, keep embracing your power and pleasure through Dom Subliving.