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Ever felt overwhelmed by the sheer number of skills to master in BDSM? Or maybe you're worried you can't keep up with the pros? Well, you're not alone. I'm Alexander from Days of Living, and today we're diving into the BDSM Olympics. We're going to break down the top 10 kinky skills, and no, these aren't your average boring skills, you already know. These will elevate your play to an Olympic level. So ready to unlock your potential? Let's get started. Welcome to the Dom Sub-Living podcast. So I'm sure you already know, but this year is an Olympic year happening in Paris, France. And I've always just loved the Olympics. I'm actually half Greek, in case you didn't know. And I just love running and different sports and watching them. And so, and I've been to France too. I've been to Paris. And so I've really been loving the Olympics this year and seeing the incredible athletes and everything they can do. And if you have been watching the Olympics, I'm sure you know there's already been a ton of controversy with the opening ceremony and people saying it was getting a little too spicy and having drag queens even. And even before that, there was controversy with the beds that the Olympic athletes were going to be sleeping on. People were saying that they were anti-sex beds. So this Olympics has just been kind of weird from the start. So it kind of got me thinking, what if we had our own type of BDSM Olympics in the King community? And so I was kind of just playing around with the idea for fun. And I thought, well, if we had a BDSM Olympics, what events would we need to have? And I thought, wouldn't it be kind of fun if we had like a kinky decathlon? So if you don't know what the decathlon is, it's a track and field event with 10 different events that the different runners and athletes do. So I thought 10 is a good number. So I thought we could have our own kinky decathlon. So obviously, this isn't a sanctioned event by the Olympics, although that would be really, really fun if it was. And I'm sure their views would get a lot higher if they included some of these. And you may agree or disagree with the different events I picked for this top 10 list, but I would also just love to know if you had something that you thought should add. So definitely let me know in the comments. But I thought this was kind of a great place to start. And if you do want like kind of an extensive list of different BDSM activities to do, I do have a free checklist of over 50 kinky things you can do. And so you can grab that for free at domsusibling.com slash checklist. But I just want to point out before we begin with this BDSM to Catholic that you don't have to do everything in this top 10 to consider yourself a true DOM or a true sub. You're allowed to have things you like and don't like. You're allowed to have hard and soft limits. In fact, one of the things I'm going to be sharing in this top 10 list is one of my hard limits and something that I don't like doing. So take everything I'm going to say with just a grain of salt. This is meant to be fun. And so let's dive in. But actually, before we get to number one, I was kind of thinking if we had our own opening ceremony for the BDSM Olympics, what would that look like and what would that include? So I kind of just had this thought experiment of just picturing in my mind of this parade of DOMs bringing out their subs, crawling on all fours, on leashes with gags and everything. So yeah, we can think about this as much as we want. I think it would just be the funnest thing. I think if your local dungeon would want to put something like this on, I think it would just be a ton of fun. But back to number one. So first up, the top kinky skill that I think we should have at our BDSM Olympics would be rope bondage, or also known as Shibari, because this is just such a beautiful skill and it's so comprehensive because you have the tactile skills, you have to have the knowledge, you have to have the strength and all of those things, but it's also just very beautiful and intricate. There's so many different ways to express yourself through rope bondage and shabari. And so it can just take many, many different, you know, twists and turns, no pun intended. But you know, it's kind of like the floor exercises of gymnastics when you see the woman competing, where there is just so much expression involved, but also so much strength. And there's some other similarities too with gymnastics. So just like there is floor gymnastics, there is floor rope bondage too, where you both parties are either on the floor or one is standing and you're just doing the ties that way. There's also suspension bondage. So kind of think about this as like the uneven bars of gymnastics where one person is, you know, the the rope bunny or the rope bottom is being tied up in the air. And so it can just be really beautiful and just a lot of fun. But a lot of people will actually tell me that they don't kind of get the the point of Shibari. Like, what are what's the whole point of it? Of just doing these really intricate ropes, like where is where is the kink in that? And so I think people kind of like they're thinking in the wrong direction. So rope Shibari, you're you're not doing these bunch of ties and trying to get through it. And even though sometimes speed is involved, and that can be another thing that we do at this BDSM Olympics, where we time it even. But it's usually not done in this way where you try to hurry up and then your partner's completely tied in this intricate thing, and then you're kind of like, ta-da, look at it. Like, that's not the point of Shibari. It's more the process of it. And so as you're tying or being the one who's tied, it's a very intimate experience. And so you can stop along the way, even if you're doing other things like um role playing and impact play and pain play and things like that, you can incorporate it along the way. So definitely take your time when you're doing Shibari or just rope bondage in general, like take your time to explore each other's body and touch and feel the ropes either in your hand or in your body. So again, it's not just thing, this thing where you're trying to get all the way through it so you can just say, ta-da, look what I did, and take a picture and then undo it really quick. Because even as you're undoing the ropes, that can be done in a sexy, kinky, intimate way. But if you're a beginner and you want to get started with rope bondage, definitely just start with basic knots. The very most simplest one is the single column tie, but just always prioritize safety, avoid having too tight ropes, and just always make sure you have safety shears or safety scissors nearby and just always be checking for circulation issues too. So now the second event for our kinky decathlon. So next we have impact play. I kind of already mentioned that, but so impact play, just think of in terms of like contact or hitting. So this can be things with paddles, floggers, riding crops, different whips, just anything to kind of create those different sensations on the body, too. You can even use your hand if you just want to do spanking. So I thought in the spirit of the BDSM Olympics, if you want to do this at home or if you have a group that you want to do this with at a dungeon. So one way to kind of make it competitive, even for yourself, is just seeing how many strokes or how many lashings you can take to kind of make it more of a competitive sport. And I remember this one time when me and my dom were actually starting out, I really loved impact play, especially just even hand spankings. And I have a very high pain tolerance. I I have two kids, both of which I delivered completely natural without an epidural. Not that that's a badge of honor for people who give birth, but just I have a very high tolerance for pain. So I can take a lot. And so in the beginning of our journey and trying to figure out what my range was and what my limits were, I wanted to see how much it would take me to cry, to genuinely cry. And I've heard from other people too that they've they've tried that to try to see what their their limit really is, or they're frustrated because they think I can't cry, that no matter how you know impactful my my Dom is doing things, that I just can't get to that point. And again, like crying isn't the the pinnacle of impact play. But again, if you're just trying to experiment and do things, um, this is something that me and my Dom did. And so, you know, again, everything is always consensual. I feel like I have to say that like a million times because people find this podcast in different ways. But so he tied my limbs and including my hands, because if you've ever been in a very intense impact, impact play scene before, you know, sometimes your your gut reaction survival mode is to kind of block the blows with your hands, and so that can get really dangerous too. So, you know, all my limbs were tied, and I just gave him permission. Like, you know, we had safe words, obviously, but it was like, let's see how much I can take until I cry. And he's pretty dang strong. But so it did take a few, a few times. I can't remember how long it was or even how hard it was. It was all kind of a blur, but I did get to that point. And so he knew as a DOM how much he could give me, and I knew how much I can take. That doesn't mean like every session is that way, but that was kind of like my way of building up tolerance. I am a masochist, he's a sadist, and so you know, again, this isn't something you have to aim for, but if you want to kind of have fun and mix things up and kind of do your own BDSM Olympics, that can be something you can shoot for. Like, so what it takes to make you cry, how many, you know, spankings you can take, how many lashings you can take, um, how many minutes you can do it for. So there's there's different ways to just kind of make it competitive and fun. And you can even try to beat your own record. But of course, I have to give you some safety protocols. So when you are doing impact play, definitely aim for the fleshy areas of the body. So things like the, you know, the butt or the the thighs, and just really avoiding different bony areas and definitely avoiding different organs and you know, especially the the kidneys too, and just really starting light and gradually building up your intensity over time. So, our third top 10 kinky skill, I would say you may disagree with me, but I think it is sensory deprivation. I think that's such a good skill for DOMs and subs to explore, because it's really just about heightening your partner's different senses that aren't being restricted. So you can use things like blindfolds, earplugs, um, or earmuffs, different gags, even uh clothespins over the nose if you're trying to restrict smell. Um, because you can explore all the different senses and different and restrict different ones and different combinations. So even touch, so you can tie your partner's hands behind their back so they can't have any touch, or even chastity devices too, are a way of um depriving sexual touch. Um, again, smell and taste. Um, I don't know if people know this, but when you do close your nose, it changes the way things taste. So if you are eating different things or different bodily fluids and even too, so you can plug the nose. Um, again, airpods, earbuds with music can be a way. And of course, you know, like I said, blindfolds is one of the easiest way. But just there's so many ways you can do sensory deprivation, but I think it is just such a good tool to be able to master in your scenes. But with all of these kinky skills, you really just want to make sure that you and your partner are comfortable and check in regularly because depriving someone of their senses can really um cause distress in some ways. Some people I've heard get really almost claustrophobic in these situations. So you definitely want to have safe words and be able to check in as well. And especially if you're using something like a gag where the person can't talk to be able to have some kind of alternate safe gesture, even too. But sensory deprivation doesn't always have to have this kinky outcome to it. Sometimes it's more just about being practical, especially for me, I have a hard time staying mindful in a scene. I'm very body conscious, and also I'm worrying about a million different things. And so having a blindfold on really just allows me to concentrate on the body sensations and not worry about what my body looks. And then also having earplugs or earbuds and even listening to music helps me to just kind of zone out and just focus in on what we're doing. So if you have a sub who is having a really hard time with staying in the moment and being mindful, and or if they're self-conscious, sensory deprivation can be a really, really crucial tool. Now, the fourth kinky skill is something I think a lot of us take for granted and we we don't even think about the magnitude of what it really is. But this is DOM sub-dynamics. A lot of times when we just get into kinky play and we're doing kinky things, we forget about the power exchange element. And so dominance and submission really are the foundation of many BDSM relationships in one way or another. And what it really boils down to, it's about the exchange of power and control and giving and getting. So when you're getting into DOM sub dynamics, you really need to have effective communication, you need to have trust, you need to discuss your boundaries, um, all these different things before engaging in this type of power exchange. Now, this is different than just one partner being the top and taking the lead, and one person being the bottom and just kind of following that. These are actual roles that you take on either in the bedroom or even outside the bedroom, too. And some ways you can just kind of implement this beyond one being a top and one being a bottom is just incorporating things during your scene like kneeling, um, using honorifics, even like sur is a good tool to have when you're exploring these DOM sub dynamics. And I just want to point out, too, if you're thinking, well, this isn't really for me, I want to tell you also, like you can switch. None of this is set in stone. It's about exploring what feels good for you. Maybe you take on the DOM role one time during the scene and then you switch to a more submissive role, or during the scene, even you're kind of going back and forth. But it's a way to stay more intentional during your scenes and not just doing things in a kinky way. Because even vanilla people sometimes just do things in a kinky way, but that doesn't really make them kinky, if that makes sense. So taking on these roles of dominance and submission can really take your scenes to the next level. And so I would think that in a BDSM Olympics, like really mastering these roles and you know, having a top DOM or a top sub, I think would be a lot of fun. So this would take us to our fifth kinky skill that I think we should have in a BDSM Olympics, and that would be role playing. So role playing isn't really the same thing as dominance and submission. Sometimes people group those together, but a DOM and sub, that's more of your identity or your role. Whereas role playing, again, it's just playing. You're it's something that isn't really tied to your identity and you're just kind of doing it for fun. Whereas when dominance and submission become your identity, that even when you leave the bedroom or the dungeon and you're not doing those things, you still consider yourself a DOM, or you still consider yourself a sub. So, some examples of role playing that you can do in BDSM. I mean, obviously the sky is the limit here. Um, I've heard some very intricate role-playing that people have, but the ones that we usually know about are things like DDLG, puppy play, or different um pet play things. So you can really just have these different role plays that you you really get into. And so I think during the BDSM Olympics, it would be really fun to see a ton of different costumes and scenarios. I've even been to dungeons or clubs and events where they have like a little party or a puppy play party. And so, like at a DGLG party, they might have like coloring and arts and crafts and things like that. So I think showcasing these at a BDSM Olympics type of event would just be a lot of fun, kind of like a almost like a beauty pageant type of thing, or I'm sure maybe you've seen of the different leather events they have. And so I think this would just be a lot of fun. But get creative here. Obviously, you always want to be on the same page with your partner and make sure everyone's consenting and everyone's comfortable with this. We don't want to assume that our partner or the people around us are into these type of things or or even okay with being exposed to them. So just make sure everyone is comfortable beforehand and I think it would just be a lot of fun for something for you to explore. Now we're on to number six, I think. So number six is edge play. So edge play involves like any kind of these higher risk activities, and I I tend not to talk about them because they are higher risk. So these are things like knife play, um, breath play, fire play, even. Um, and a lot of people sometimes get edge play confused with edging because they're so similar in how they they sound. But edging is where you're obviously like getting really close to um orgasm and just really backing down and then building back up and going back and forth and kind of creating this torturous experience. But edge play means like you're on the edge of doing something dangerous, and yes, like all BDSM activities have danger. Even when we were talking about Shibari, there's risks involved with that and things that can go wrong, even with impact play. But edge play are even in the BDSM community, those are the things that are like, uh, like like I said, I have a hard time even talking about these because I know it can be taboo or the powers that be can censor me for whatever reason. So these are again things that you need to proceed with caution. But I thought this would fit really nicely into a BDSM Olympics because in the regular Olympics, there are activities where it kind of you're on the the edge of your seat watching and kind of cringing. And some people do get really, really hurt during the Olympics. But then there's other activities that are just, I feel like even I could do that, which obviously I know I couldn't, but some of them just look super duper easy. Um, but so edge play would be this thing that you know you need to be at a certain advance level to be doing because there is just so many more safety measures you need to take and you just need to be more experienced. But definitely if edge play is something you do want to explore, start slow and make sure you're practicing with a partner that you really, really trust. So the seventh kinky skill that I think would be great to have in a BDSM Olympics, and this one kind of goes along with what I think is the point of Shabari. So this one is wax play. So wax play, you kind of do have this finished product like you do in Shibari where it looks beautiful. I've seen the wax play in so many different colors, designs, you know, when they're done, and you know, either it's on the back or on the stomach or the whole body, and it looks beautiful. But the point of wax play, just like with Shibari, it's not to do The thing and then say ta-da, here it is, doesn't it look pretty? Um, with wax plate, it's enjoying that process, and so we're kind of exploring with temperature, um, where you're dripping hot wax onto your partner's skin, and so it kind of is that mix of pain and pleasure. Um, and you just want to do it in a very safe way too. If you're a member of Dom Sub Training, we actually have a whole lesson on wax play, and I kind of demonstrate it a little bit there. But you want to use candles or wax that are specifically made for wax play so that way you don't give yourself like a second or third degree burn. You really need to test the wax temperature on yourself first before applying it to a partner and avoid like hair, other sensitive areas like genitalia and things like that, but it can be a lot of fun. And if you are into pain play, this is something you can really work your way up into. They have so many different ranges of wax, some that are more intense than others and in terms of heat and pain. Um, and there's just a variety of different kinds of waxes, different colors, ones that glow in the dark. So you can really use wax play to showcase your creativity too. Now, I would say the eighth kinky skill that would be great to have in a BDSM Olympics would be medical play. So medical play can sometimes be considered edge play because there is a lot of risk involved, and it again it can kind of be taboo in some communities too, but it really just involves using different medical instruments, doing different role plays to kind of create these erotic scenarios that kind of have this like clinical overtone. So you can do things with needles, you can do things with gyneological experiments, um, you can get different um medical chairs and tables and do things that way. But if you're going to be engaging in medical play, definitely hygiene is a must, especially if you're doing things with needles and different instruments. You want to make sure everything is clean, that the skin is clean and sterilized too, and just make sure that you're not swapping in between partners and things like that. But medical play can be a whole lot of fun. So, again, this is something you want to do either if you're experienced or definitely with an experienced partner, and so that you're really making sure everything is safe. Now, I said at the beginning of this video that you don't have to do everything on this list, and that there was even one thing on this list that even I don't do that is one of my hard limits. That even though I'm in a TPE relationship and my dom has permission to do everything, like he knows like not to do this with me, it is just one of my very difficult things. And so, um, so number nine, you may already know this if you know me, but so number nine, though, I think which should be included in the top 10 kinky skills and in the BDSM Olympics, number nine would be electro play. And so if you don't know what electro play is, it's just where you use electrical stimulation to create these unique sensations. So for me, the extent I can extend electrical stimulation is, you know, when you are walking on carpet like with your socks and you go and you touch the the doorknob, like that in itself is just enough for me. It I can't stand it, I can't explain it. Um, so I know some people will start telling me, well, try this and try. I'm just like, no. But so I'm not gonna shame anyone, obviously, who is into this, and that is why I included it in this list because it is such a popular kink. So many people are into it, and there is so many different ways you can explore it. So, one of the easiest ways to kind of get started with this, a lot of people have TENS machines at home. And a TENS machine um kind of has these different patches that you put on different muscles when you have back pain and things like that. In fact, um back when I had injured myself, I had uh a running injury. My doctor sent me a TENS machine, and I couldn't even try it. Like I can barely even open the box. It was just triggering me so bad. But a TENS machine is a great place for people to start because it is something that some people have in their home or have a friend that has, and it can, and and it's meant to be in a way that you can gradually build up. And a lot of these tools that for electro play, they do have that. But I think if you are kind of hesitant, like me, maybe, starting with something that you know is safe, that doctors prescribe and use is a great way. But there are different tools like um the violent wand that you um can use if you're into our electro play and you're wanting to get started. But with all things BDSM really just start slow. So start with the lowest setting and just gradually increase intensity. And you want to avoid um different sensitive areas like metal piercings, you want to avoid the the heart area um and just really follow the directions on on the box or on the tens machine and just really um be as safe as possible. But I have friends that that swear by electroplay that that it is like a godsend to them and like they won't do a scene without it, like it's their ultimate fetish thing that they need. So again, I'm not gonna shame it, but it's just for some reason there's this mental block with me, and like most people who know me like know I will not get into that. Jay, on the other hand, he likes you know, being on the giving end of electro play. Um, so that's something he he's totally welcome to explore, but I don't that's not my thing. But we made it to number 10 of the BDSM Olympics and this kinky decathlon. So hopefully it's getting all of your kinky juices flowing and you want to go out and play with all these things. And so I really wanted a good one for the 10th one, and I thought this would be just the ultimate pinnacle of something you can explore in BDSM. And so without further ado, what I think would be considered the the 10th one in our event would be mindfucks. So if you don't really know what mind fucks are in like a BDSM context, so these would just be kind of psychological play where you're creating confusion, anticipation, fear, excitement, where the person just doesn't know what's going on, what is a game, what isn't a game. And it can be a lot of fun when it is consensual. And that is the key. Like, do not be messing with someone and they don't know what is going on in you know, in the overreaching aspect of things. But to give you some examples, if you want to start exploring this consensually, so different ways of creating fear where the other partner doesn't know what's going on, even things like humiliation and degradation. We had a whole episode on that. Um, and if you need a list of different ways to explore degradation, definitely go to domsubliving.com/slash degradation. There's a whole list of ideas there. But one of my favorite ways to explore this is consensual non-consent. And I kind of explain CNC or consensual non-consent as I like it even when I don't like it. Because when you're exploring mindfuck or mindfuckery, whatever you want to call it, I'm not actually supposed to swear. That is one of my rules with my Dom, but I hope that he'll let me slide on this one because it is something for the top 10. But when you're exploring mindfuckery, it it can really mess with you. And and consensual non-consent can do that too, because your body doesn't know what's real, your mind sometimes doesn't know what's real, and it can just get really, really intense. And it is this workout for your mind. And you know, the dominant really enjoys it too because they're getting to get creative and devious and being sadistic in a way that isn't just physical, but being sadistic emotionally and psychologically. So it can be a lot of fun to explore this. So this is an advanced skill, though. You do not want to get involved with this with someone like that you just met online. You need to have a huge amount of trust and clear boundaries. Um, and it really needs to be done in this controlled environment. So you know that you are safe at all times, even when you may feel not safe. So that would be my 10th pick for something in the kinky decathlon. And I was thinking, if we had a BDSM Olympics, what would we have for the closing ceremony? Because every Olympics has this huge closing ceremony. And I thought it would have to be like this huge event of this huge group with aftercare, with tons and tons of aftercare, massage, cuddling, tons of blankets. Everyone has a juice box in their hand. And you may go to different dungeons or events, and they may even have like an aftercare room or a cuddle party at the end. And so I think that would just be the greatest way to close out the BDSM Olympics. But today we covered the top 10 kinky skills in the BDSM Olympics from rope bondage to wax play, and these skills can really elevate your BDSM experience. And again, this isn't an exhaustive list. If you want a list of over 50 kinks, definitely go to my site at domsubliving.com slash checklist and you can get an even bigger list of all of the kinky things that you can be exploring to really get your juices flowing. But remember, mastering these skills takes time and practice, but the journey is incredibly rewarding. But always prioritize safety and consent. If you enjoyed this video, definitely subscribe and let me know if you agree with my list of events for Ob DSM Olympics or what you would include. And stay tuned for our next episode where we'll dive into everything you need to know about maintenance banking. So you do not want to miss that. You can check out all of the details and links for this episode in the description. But thank you for joining me, and until next time, keep embracing your power and pleasure through Dominic Learning.