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Are you struggling to maintain your DS dynamic and feeling your connection with babies? Hi, I'm Alessandra from Dom Sub Living, and today we're diving into maintenance babies, your secret weapon for keeping the spark alive. Worried they might be too harsh or even unnecessary, so stick around and I'll show you why it's actually a game changer for building trust and intimacy. Let's get started. Welcome to the Dom Sub Living Podcast. So in this episode, we're going to be covering the five key points about maintenance bankings that you need to know. But first off, you may be even wondering what exactly is a maintenance banking. Maybe you've heard of spankings, you do spankings, but what's a maintenance banking? So maintenance bankings are these consensual and prearranged spankings that occur usually regularly within a DOM sub relationship to really just enforce the roles and to maintain the dynamic. And for some reason, maintenance bankings seem to be debated a lot in the BDSM community because some feel like it's kind of cruel to really think you're just kind of hitting your sub for no reason at all. They didn't do anything to deserve it. It's not a punishment, punishment spanking, but maintenance bankings do really have a purpose and we're going to be getting into it. But it just really helps to remind the sub of who is in control and that the pain can be something that can really help them to focus their mind on. And you don't have to do maintenance bankings. Obviously, this whole video is going to be about maintenance maintenance bankings and my whole love for maintenance bankings. But maintenance bankings are just one type of a BDSM activity. And I actually have a free checklist of over 50 different BDSM activities and different kinks you can do. So you can definitely download that for free at domsubliving.com slash checklist. But as far as maintenance banking goes, you obviously have to have the right technique and you have to have different safety um things to keep in mind too. So, you know, I'm just gonna cover those really briefly before we dive into the five main things you know. But definitely when you're doing maintenance bankings, make sure you're doing on the them on the fleshy parts of the body, so like the buttocks and the upper thighs, avoiding any bony areas and things like that, and just making sure that everything is consensual, that you're doing aftercare too. Um, and I think maintenance bankings are just a whole lot of fun, and they're one of my favorite parts of my dynamic. But the first key point about maintenance bankings, or the first thing you need to know, is that the purpose of maintenance bankings really is to kind of prevent bratty behavior or to prevent the sub from disobeying. So it's more of a prevention thing. And I always tell this story that a friend of mine told me that when she was a child, that her grandma took her to the grocery store and they were in the car, in the parking lot. Now, this was back in the day and when you know grandparents were really old school. I'm not condoning any of this, but she said that when they got to the grocery store and they were in the park parking lot, that her grandma would, before they even got into the store, would start spanking her. And she would ask her grandma, like, Why are you doing this? I didn't do anything wrong. And she said that her grandma would say, Well, this is to make sure that you don't do anything wrong when we go into the store. So again, I'm not condoning um child violence or anything like that. And my friend always would laugh about this story. But so whenever I think about maintenance, maintenance bankings, I always think about that. That there it's like a way to make sure that the sub obeys and it's to prevent any disobedience or bratty behavior. And this is for a few reasons, actually. It's really just to reinforce the role. So knowing, you know, when you're in the position of being spanked, it's very apparent that you are the sub and that the other partner is in the dominant role. So it kind of just snaps you back into your roles for both the DOM and the sub. And it also gives the sub kind of like a routine to look forward to or even structure. And so those two things, routines and structure, can really prevent bratty behavior too. And then there's also just the emotional and physical release that comes from being spanked, that you release a lot of endorphins when that happens. And so it's kind of a way to get all those good vibes in the body so that way the submissive is in a better head space and mindset to really um obey her Dom in the future. And there's also the emotional and physical release that happens too. So there's a lot of endorphins that are flowing when a partner is being spanked. And so getting all those feel-good vibes into their body just really gives them that outlet to want to continue to obey. They're in a good headspace, they're in a good, you know, frame of mind. And that way it kind of can puts them on a good path. So regular maintenance spankings can really just help to keep the sub in their role and just reduce instances of them acting out. Hopefully, like that's not always the case. And obviously, there are submissives that identify as a brat. No matter how many times you spank them, they're always going to be a brat. But the second thing you need to know about maintenance spankings is that they are different from punishment spankings, and you need to know how they're different. So obviously, with a punishment spanking, the submissive has done some kind of behavior that was against the rule or just was disobedient, and so as a result, they get punished for it. So, again, a maintenance spanking is kind of putting the cart before the horse and hopefully preventing that disobedience. But because they're two different things and the submissive hasn't really done anything wrong yet, usually maintenance spankings are less severe, um, they're a lot less intense, they usually last longer. So if in a punishment spunk spanking that the submissive gets to the point where maybe they say red, maybe in a maintenance spanking they get to the point where they would say yellow. So red and yellow would be the safe word. So red when they're at their limit, yellow when they're close to their limit. But maintenance spankings really should be still intense enough to kind of snap a submissive back in the role. It shouldn't be like, oh, that felt good. And that was kind of like a massage. Like it should still be a spanking. And some people ask me, well, how how hard? How how long? And everybody is different, every person's body can take different things. Um, and I've never really timed a maintenance spanking. I don't think my Dom has either. I know sometimes with a punishment spanking, he'll do 10 very hard spankings, and that is psychological too, too. He'll have me count them, which is demeaning. Um, but so I think with maintenance bankings, it's more to just reconnect too. So maybe it lasts like a full five minutes because you're taking breaks, even too. Again, like the purpose of the maintenance banking is to have that connection and to prevent the bratty behavior. So you have to adapt for you, and you and your partner know each other best, but you can kind of experiment with this too. Do a maintenance banking session because these technically are more of like a session, and then recap afterwards and debrief. Was that enough for you? Do you want more? Um, was it too intense? Should it have been more harder or shorter or longer? So you really have to do trial and error with these. But the third thing you need to know about maintenance bankings is that there is a ton of benefits, both physically and emotionally. So oftentimes a some can feel neglected if they're not getting that physical content contact with their dominant and the dominant too, if they're not getting that physical contact. And so a maintenance banking really is a way to kind of come together and explore different pain play. And even a dominant who is sadistic can even experience pain in these things because in a maintenance banking, you're technically using your hand if you're the DOM, and it can tingle and hurt for the DOM too. And so it's this way of getting endorphins in both of your bodies. Um, like I mentioned earlier, you know, the submissive may even cry, which really releases a lot of chemicals too. So just a huge amount of endorphins. I know I've I've shared before how I've struggled with self-harm. So I know a lot of other people deal with self-harm triggers and things like that. And so replacing those with regular maintenance bankings can really help too. So there's just a ton of benefits. It's kind of like going to the gym and getting in a really good workout. You will feel like you had a workout for both partners. And so it's just a really beneficial thing that you can do together. And the fourth thing you need to know about maintenance bankings is that they're really beneficial for the DOMs too. Usually when we think about maintenance bankings, we think how it's beneficial for the sub. Like I mentioned how it prevents bratty behavior, but they're really beneficial for the DOM too, especially if the DOM is more of a sadistic DOM and like likes inflicting pain. And maybe they have a very obedient sub who always obeys, and they may be thinking, like, man, I wish they would like mess up every once in a while so I can punish them. So maintenance banking is a way to kind of be able to get it out of their system, I guess you would say. It gives them this sense of control and connection. So it's really just not about the sub that DOMs really need to experience this regular um maintenance bankings too. Um, it just really reinforces their control and their authority as a DOM. A lot of times I know DOMs struggle with confidence issues and getting in a good maintenance banking with their submissive, where in that they're in that dominant role can really give them that boost of confidence. And it just really promotes consistency too. Um when you're the more consistent you can be, the more it kind of encourages you to be more consistent. And so when you're establishing this routine, it just really helps you to approach the dynamic in a different way. You'll notice when you start doing regular maintenance bankings that it'll just have this ripple effect and that you'll start being more consistent with enforcing rules, um, having regular scenes. And so it just really helps to establish that leadership in the dynamic. And it also prevents major issues from like kind of building up that if there is something going on in the dynamic, so like maybe there's these little like I call them micro disobedience things where the submissive maybe starts talking back a little bit or not doing their chores all the way or doing their different rituals they need to do, and just slowly they start getting, you know, a little more disobedient, a little more talking back. Um, so the before these start really building up until to now they're, you know, the submissive isn't doing their tasks at all, and the dominant is letting them slide all the time, the submissive's talking back, and you know, maybe the the Dom is just letting all these things happen. And, you know, it kind of just prevents those things from building up. But maintenance bankings just really provide a whole lot of satisfaction for Adam and just really helps to fulfill their role and build them up so they'll want to continue to want to be dominant in the relationship. And we've made it to number five, and I'm going to be actually sharing exactly how we do maintenance bankings because number five, the fifth thing you need to know is just how you need to practice maintenance bankings regularly. You can't just do these on a whim whenever you think you need it, or kind of replace it for a punishment and think, well, the Smiths has been being really bratty, so I better get a maintenance banking in. Like, no, it needs to be maintenance. And I kind of use this illustration, like if you were going to run a race that is such like a big event, and maybe that's what the punishment spanking is like. It's just a big event, it's really intense, it's really, really hard. But can you imagine if you never trained for that race? You never did the workup, the workouts building up to that race. And so that's what maintenance spankings really are. They're those workouts that kind of help you build up. It's kind of just like putting money into that relationship bank. It just helps to build up over time so that you are more prepared when a punishment really does need to happen. So they do need to be really regular because a submissive will pick up on the fact if a Dom just starts, you know, doing them on a whim that this isn't something serious. And so it kind of has the opposite effect if you're not doing them regularly. But so I have some tips for keeping track and making them a routine, but you can do something like even adding it to your calendar, you can add it in your task list, you can um journal about it because it just really creates this healthy DS dynamic. So how we do it is we have it in the calendar. So um we have a shared calendar, we have um Apple devices, so it shares the calendar, and we just have the little waving hand emoji so we know it's coming, we both know it's coming. So we do it, my Dom has picked on Sundays because he goes to work and he's you know works during the week. And so if I'm going to act bratty during the week, if I'm going to be disobedient during the week, it's going to happen when he's at work and I'm just at home. And so before he goes to work on Sunday evening is when I will get my maintenance banking. It's also when we do our check-in. So we'll have a check-in, I'll get to say all the things I want to say, we'll get to talk about our goals, get to talk about um what we wish would have happened, what you know, what we can do next time differently. And then I get my maintenance banking. So this is how we like physically do our maintenance banking. So he'll usually give me like some kind of, I like to call it like a lecture or a speech where he'll tell me, you know, you've been a good girl, um, but I want to make sure you stay a good girl. And these are the things I'm going to be expecting tomorrow when I'm at work. And I will get my maintenance banking. Um, it's not like a punishment spanking, so I don't have to count, or he doesn't count, or, you know, I'm not getting to the point where I'm saying red, but it is more of a session or a workout where he kind of just every time is different. So he kind of just goes to what feels good for him, what he needs. Again, he's kind of letting out his aggression too, and using this time to reconnect with his dominance. And so it's as much for him as it is for me. And he's reading me, seeing, you know, how much is too much. And so it's more of this kind of like dance in this session where it's, you know, we're both really mindful during the process. Because even during like a punishment spanking, you know, it's not, it's not fun. So, you know, my mind will try to like zone out. But in a maintenance spanking, I try to really stay mindful and focus on the impact. So, you know, we'll just kind of go until you know, maybe it gets close to my limit, or, you know, he's had enough too, but it's just something that we we do once a week. Um, you know, a lot of times people will ask me how often you should do it. So I think once a week is is good, but if you need like a couple times a week, that's fine. Again, whatever works for you. If you notice a different cadence has a different effect that um, you know, doing them two or three times a week really prevents the bratty behavior. But maybe you're noticing that the submissive is being, you know, so good all the time and then they never need to be punished. You know, that can be a pitfall too. I've talked about before that sometimes you don't want to make things so easy for a submissive that they they never never slip up. Um, you want to to push them a little bit and so they know what they're they're capable of too. Um again, this is all consensual. I'm not talking about like pushing boundaries or things like that, but just making things a a little challenging. So um they have to work, but you just really have to find what works for you. But I think starting with weekly is just such a good, a good um place to start. So if you haven't already, your kind of like homework for this episode is to put in the calendar. Well, first of all, talk about this with your partner, make sure they're on board, share this episode with them. Um, and decide on a time and that and a cadence that that works for both of you and put it on the the calendar. I hope we have a lot more of the little hand emojis waving in everybody's Apple calendar or Google Calendar. I think that would be a lot of fun. And if you ever see someone's calendar and they have that little emoji, you know what they're doing. But those were the five key things you need to know about maintenance bankings. So they help prevent bratty behavior. You need to know that they're different than a typical punishment spanking and that they have a physical and emotional benefits, and that they're beneficial for DOMS too, and you need to do them regularly. And so, again, maintenance bankings is just one type of kink or or one type of BDSM play. And I have a free checklist that has over 50 different kinks and 50 different things you can do. So you can grab that at for free at DOMsubliving.com slash checklist. But I would love to hear from you. What are your thoughts on maintenance bankings? Have you found them helpful in your relationship? Or do you have any questions or concerns or experiences you'd love to share? Definitely let me know in the comments. But hit subscribe because I'll be sharing another kinky episode soon. But you can check out all of the details and links for this episode in the description. Thank you for joining me, and until next time, keep embracing your power and pleasure through dumps and beautiful.