SPEAKER_00 0:00

Have you ever heard someone say that politics don't belong in kink? I know I have. But it's not really true. Maybe you're thinking, I come to kink to escape politics. But let's talk about why separating kink from politics might not just be impossible, but dangerous. I'm Alessandra from Dom Subliving, and today we're breaking down how politics shaped kink and what it means for us. Stick with me and I'll explain exactly how this involves you. Welcome to the Dom Subliving Podcast. So, first off, I just want to be totally clear what we mean when we're talking about politics. Because a lot of times I will post something online or say something online, and someone will say, Don't bring politics into this. And I'm just thinking, this isn't even political. So I just want to be totally clear. So we're all on the same page, what exactly is politics? So that way you know that going into this episode. So when we're talking about politics, what we're really talking about is government. And that can be anything from local government to school government to state government to even nationwide. And it also has to do with the laws, too. So I know I get a lot of flack whenever this subject comes up. And like I said, a lot of times people will attack me when I'm not even talking about politics. So I just want you to know that if you have a differing opinion, I would love to hear it. If you want to talk smack about me or tell me how I'm wrong, I'm here for that too. Come at me in the comments. I can take it and I'm ready for it. So first up, let's talk about consent and power dynamics and why these are actually political issues. So consent, we know, is at the core of kink. It is the driving force for everything we do. We're always talking about how consent is so important, how it's even sacred. But consent is actually an issue that comes up in politics too. There are laws on the books about what constitutes consent and what isn't consent. I know a lot of colleges are having to deal with this issue too. Um, sexual autonomy is another big issue that a lot of people are talking about in politics too, and whether or not people have a freedom of choice when it comes to things like that. And a big example of how consent can come up into politics and laws and media coverage and things like that is the Me Too movement that we have, where it brought up into the public discussion about what is consensual, especially when you're dealing with these power dynamics where someone like a boss or a teacher or some kind of employer can have more control over another individual, and if consent can really be had in those types of arrangements. So that was a big issue here, especially in the United States, but in different countries too, they have laws against consent and laws against even consensual BDSM acts. And I know that has really affected the work I do online because in certain countries people can't access my work. And so it does affect people. So if consent is such a cornerstone of kink and political systems constantly regulate consent, can we really say that kink is separate from politics? And kind of back to what we talked about with the Me Too movement, um, power exchange is such an essential part of many BDSM relationships, but power is so nuanced in society, and it really oftentimes reflects inequality and privilege too. So we have things like patriarchal systems, we have things like systemic racism, and those can even creep into different kink spaces and into kink relationships, and they can affect even things as simple as negotiation, putting one person at a different power imbalance than the other. It can affect representation in the kink scene, um, inclusivity in our community. So it's something we really need to be aware of. So we need to really ask ourselves as kinksters how can we explore consensual power exchange in kink while at the same time having to deal with all these power imbalances that exist in the wider world. But besides consent and power dynamics, we really need to also think about marginalized communities in kink. Because many kinksters belong to marginalized communities. So this can be things like the LGBTQ community, um people of color, people with disabilities, and these groups are usually the ones who are most affected by political policies and different laws. And the experience that they then bring to the king community is usually shaped by these identities and these injustices that they have unfortunately faced. Because if you take something like anti-LGBTQ legislation, which has been greatly affecting things like bathroom laws, marriage equality laws, so these are really starting to influence how LGBTQ individuals in the kink community, how they're having to um being able to participate. I've heard of venues and events having to shut down their queer community spaces just because they also um do kink-related things. So then the LGBTQ community then doesn't have a place to connect with other people and feel safe just because that venue also at another unrelated time will host a kink event too. So it's really affecting both aspects of these different overlapping communities. And gender and trans rights are such a big issue in politics right now. And so it's really making me be more aware, too, as a kink educator to make sure that I am more welcoming to all. And so over the years, with our content and our blog articles and our courses, we've really strived to be more inclusive with our language instead of using, you know, typical pronouns for a dominant and submissive, we're using more gender-neutral terms. And so these are things that, you know, we're trying to adopt on the smaller level while those in the LGBTQ community are still facing this greater, more increased discrimination worldwide. Because if political decisions are affecting who can safely engage in kink, should we be doing more to protect and include marginalized voices in our community? So that is something that we at Dom Sub Living have been striving to do for a very long time, especially with our bigger events like our Dom Sub Dynamic Summit and our kink bundle that we run, of just trying to highlight and showcase more diverse voices. And I have seen a lot of different kink spaces and different dungeons trying to be more inclusive. So that's a good thing. And so this involves things like uh gender neutral bathrooms, um, more inclusive, like theming nights, um, just using inclusive language, making the spaces more accessible for those who have disabilities too. So, for example, there's a dungeon we go to that instead of having women's only night, they might have something like um femme night, where it's just for those who are identifying as femme. So this can be trans and non-binary people, um, women, females, whatever. But so just having that more inclusive language really helps. And I've seen um other venues too, like bigger events, have interpreters for sign language. I know in our virtual summit, even we we um really focus on having closed captions and having transcripts available too. So that's something we really want to strive when we're holding these online events as well. But is it really enough to just create these spaces and just kind of assume that everyone feels safe? Or do we need to actively work on making those spaces more welcoming for everyone and having these conversations? We don't want to be speaking and assuming for people who have disabilities or are marginalized. We want to be talking with them too as well and seeing what it is that they really need and want. So we talked about marginalized communities and how that relates to kink in politics. So now let's talk about freedom of expression and censorship. So I probably don't have to tell you, but there is a ton of censorship in kink. Um, and this just really affects the way that people can learn about kink in a healthy, safe way. And it is usually brought on by different political and social forces that are really trying to limit this education, and it happens on social media, different websites, um, even in-person public events, um, and just because people are feeling it's not appropriate or that it's not safe. And I have been greatly affected by this. I know many of my other friends who are educators have had to deal with this too on different platforms like Instagram, YouTube, Facebook. It's just been so much harder because we have to spell things a certain weird way or put emojis in things. That way we're not flagged by the algorithm, or even worse, have our accounts removed. But it affects you, the person trying to search for this stuff and consume it and learn about Kink and BDSM in a healthy way. Because when you go to Google this stuff, you know, our content is pretty much blocked because of the way we're having to kind of, you know, go about things in a different manner. So it really is a harmful thing. And when social media platforms or governments, when they get to decide what is appropriate, then who gets to say what's right for each individual? We can't make that choice for ourselves anymore, then. So there are actually laws that are called obscenity laws, and they really affect how the BDSM community can operate. Because in many places, um, especially in more conservative regions, it's really just affecting how BDSM can be practiced even in the privacy of one's home. And we're going to be talking more about that too. So, in many places, these obscenity laws can really, you know, affect how people can practice BDSM even in their own bedroom because it can criminalize consensual kink practices. And this is especially true in conservative regions where BDSM is kind of seen as this deviant practice. I've heard of venues even being denied permits, um, people being fired from their jobs when someone finds out that they were, you know, practicing BDSM and, you know, maybe posting about it online. I know, you know, in the past, people have had their kids taken away in custody battles because, you know, the parent who's practicing BDSM is doing this, you know, what they think is this horrible thing that can somehow affect the children. So it's really affecting people's lives. And I know the NCSF, the National Coalition of Sexual Freedom, has done a lot of work in trying to make this better and pass laws and educate judges too, especially in these custody battles. And so they need to be commended because they are they're doing the Lord's work right now. Because if the law criminalizes consensual kink, how can we ever feel safe expressing our desires? And then should we be advocating for change? So we talked about freedom of expression and censorship. Now let's talk about the adult industry work and how that's overlapped with kink. Because many kinksters work in or adjacent to these adult industries. You know, you can think of things like pro-DOM work that may have some overlap. Um, I know even the work that I do, some people will classify that as, you know, adult services, you know, even just educating people on healthy BDSM dynamics. I've experienced companies that will just not even work with me because they lump me into the adult industry. So it's been hugely frustrating, but there is a lot of this overlap that, you know, we're experiencing the same um, you know, laws that are targeting them are targeting us. And so there's this huge impact on the different king spaces. Because a lot of dungeons will do pro-DOM work in addition to letting just the public, you know, come in and use it for their own use. And so the laws affect them both. And then there was the huge debacle with the the Sesta Fosta laws that just really criminalize platforms where consensual adult work and kink were kind of intersecting. And that legislation just made it really harder for adult industry workers to stay safe because now they kind of had to do it in the shadows. And it's the same for even educational kink platforms. A lot of them haven't been able to remain operational because of these laws. So I've had friends too who have, you know, faced many challenges because of these laws when they came out. It's just made their work more dangerous because they kind of had to do it on the down low. They've lost, you know, access to online platforms, they've lost access to be able to take payments securely. So a lot of times they're ripped off by clients too. So it's really just made everything an unsafe environment for the people it was supposed to protect. So if these laws that overlap with the kink industry, if they're making it harder for people in the adult industry to stay safe, how can we really claim that kink spaces are free from political interference? But we covered how the adult industry work overlaps with kink. But let's talk about how politics shape the future of kink spaces. So let's talk about the future. So we need to protect kink communities. And the way we do this is through political engagement. So that's why it irks me when people say you can't bring politics into kink or you know, stop talking about politics. Because if you're enjoying my con my content, if you're listening to this podcast, don't you want to keep enjoying it? Don't you want to keep being able to research how to enjoy BDSM safely? Don't you want to keep learning about how to be a better Dom or Sab? Because when you know politics start deciding the things we can and cannot do, then it really becomes an issue about how to enjoy these experiences like kink and BDSM. And so we need to be, you know, not ignoring politics. And that way we can continue to get access and keep things safe and keep things inclusive too. And so I know a lot of kink clubs and groups are now really lobbying for legal protections. Like I said, the National Coalition of Sexual Freedom, they're doing great work. Um, different communities in the kink community are partnering, partnering with um the queer community and different organizations and just really keep advocating for that inclusivity and having more rights. Because if we don't engage in politics to protect our spaces and our community, then who really will? Like no one else is going to be advocating for us. We have to do it ourselves. So consider how you can get involved personally with advocacy for the kink community, whether that's supporting adult industry workers' rights, um, helping to promote inclusive events or speaking out about censorship that impacts kink content. And most importantly, voting. You need to vote because voting is how you make your voice heard. So many times in BDSM, in kink, we're talking about the importance of our voice, whether that means using safe words, talking about negotiation, um, contracts, expressing our you know, hard and soft limits. We're always talking about using our voice. And so one of the biggest ways you can do that is by voting. But engaging with political conversations in the kink community is so important. And it's necessary to make sure we have long-term safety, inclusivity, freedom of expression in these places too. Because politics aren't just something we can leave at the dungeon door when we enter our kink spaces, they affect everything, they affect who feels safe, to who has a voice. So by staying aware and advocating for our rights, we can create a community that's truly inclusive and supportive. But if you'd like to support me as a kink worker and educator, I'd highly appreciate it. So you can get on my newsletter at domsubliving.com slash sign up. And that way you can get tips and practical advice for living the BDSM lifestyle and becoming a better Dom or Sub. So again, I would greatly appreciate it. It would support me so much. So you can just go to domsubliving.comslash sign up. And be sure to like, comment, and subscribe to this podcast for more discussions on how kink intersects with the real world. But thank you for joining me. And until next time, keep embracing your power and pleasure through Dom Sub Living.