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Impact Play 101: 5 Beginner-Friendly Ideas to Try Now
•Dom Sub Living•Episode 61
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#061 Curious about impact play but don’t know where to start? Or maybe you’re worried about doing it wrong? Don’t stress—you’re in the right place. In this episode, we'll guide you through 5 easy, beginner-friendly impact play ideas that are safe, fun, and perfect for building your skills. We’ll cover everything from hands-only techniques to using everyday tools like wooden spoons and paddles—all while prioritizing safety and connection. Ready to explore? Grab your favorite tool (or hands!) and start experimenting with confidence!
Are you curious about impact play but totally confused about where to start? Or maybe you're worried you'll look like a total newbie. Don't trust, we've all been there. I'm Alessandra from Dom Sub Living, and today I'm sharing five super simple beginner-friendly Impact Play ideas that are fun, safe, and easy to try. Trust me, you don't need expensive tools or tons of experience to make this amazing. Let me show you. Welcome to the Dom Sub Living Podcast. So before I bring out all of my toys and we have an actual show and tell, let's start with the basics. So, what is impact play in simple terms? Well, impact play is about creating controlled sensations on the body using tools or even just your hands. And it can range from light and playful to more intense, depending on what you and your partner enjoy. I know when I first started, I thought it had to be super intense or painful to count as real impact play. But I learned super fast that it's more about creating connection and not just leaving marks on your body. Although that is fun too. But you might be thinking, well, what if I hurt my partner by accident? Or what if I get hurt? So that's why starting with beginner-friendly tools and techniques is key here because it's all about building trust and learning together and then progressing from there. Because maybe you've watched a scene in a movie or in real life at a dungeon and thought, how do they make it look so effortless? Well, it's all about practice and communication. So we're going to be talking about that. So when it comes to communication, consent is so important because before anything else happens, you and your partner need to talk. You need to talk about what are you both curious about, what areas feel good to explore, and what are some areas that might be off limits. So a small tip I have for you here is to use a scale of one to ten to describe the intensity levels. So for example, you might say, let's start at a three and see how that feels. And that way it just keeps everything super clear and avoids confusion. And I actually have a way to do this in our free contract. If you download it at domsubliving.com slash contract, it has a scale there that you can use when you're negotiating these scenes with your partner. But a lot of people ask me, well, how do you even start the conversation with your partner if you know maybe you haven't done anything kinky or maybe you have, but now you're wanting to go into something like impact play. So um don't put any pressure around it, but just something simple you can say is, hey, I'm I'm curious about impact play. I heard about it a little bit, but I I don't want to go too far. Um, can we have a conversation around that and see what you think? And that honesty and just being open like that can really set the tone for a really great first experience. Because have you ever felt like you were guessing what your partner wanted during play? Imagine how much easier it would be if you had a game plan ahead of time when you went into the bedroom and you know you're both on the same page and you're both going to get what you want. So now that we've covered the foundation of impact play, let's get into the five beginner-friendly impact play ideas. And this actually includes my Dom's favorite, and I'm going to share my personal favorite too. And for each of these five ways, I'm gonna give you a detailed breakdown of each of them and include what to use, how to do it, and what to avoid. And if you're watching on YouTube, you'll actually get to see each of these different implements. So the first one is actually hands only. So I don't really have anything to show you here, but this is such a great place to start because your hands are versatile and intuitive. You're you're feeling both the person who's giving the impact can feel to get that that feedback right away. You can adjust the intensity really easily and feel your partner's response immediately. So hands are a great way to start. So here's how to get into it step by step. So just really start with light taps on some of the fleshy um areas of the body, so like the butt and the thighs, and just gradually increase your intensity and continue to check in with your partner. And you can alternate the speeds to create different varieties. So there's there's just something about using your hands and spanking. It's an oldie but a goodie, and so and it's cheap, you know. So you you don't have to buy any equipment and you don't have to bring any equip equipment, it's always there with you. So spanking is, you know, so many people just love spanking for that reason. And spanking is really how Mia and my Dom got into BDSM. That was the first kind of BDSM technique we did, and we still love it so much because it is just so intimate. There's nothing between you two, it's just hand-to-hand combat, basically. But um, so number one is using your hands. Now, my second impact play idea is another super cheap one, and that is a wooden spoon. And why a wooden spoon works so well is because it's just an everyday household item that is perfect for creating sharp yet controlled sensations. And plus, it's easy to find, and no one will think different if you're you know buying it from Target, putting it into your cart, or if they they see it at your home. I had someone once we had it in our our bedroom, I think on the the nightstand, and someone was in our room and visiting, and but they said, like, oh, why is the spoon in here? Because we had forgot to put it away, but it was just like, oh, I must have been using it and walking back and forth and must have left it in there. Like, no one usually thinks too much of it. So a spoon is so great. And um, I'll give you some tips on how to use it. So, with a lot of these toys, the the closer you hold it to the base, the more control you have. If you hold it more towards the end, um you'll it'll get more wobbly and you'll have less control. So you gotta kind of experiment, but um, somewhere in the middle is usually good. But you really want to test the the sensation on maybe your own thigh first to get a feel for it. So that's a tip for DOMS too, is just to use like your the top of your thigh or even the inner thigh to really get a feel for how this might feel for your submissive, so you kind of know how intense to do these things. But you can start with really light taps and just experiment with the rhythm. But I want to um warn you here to uh avoid using the the edges um that can be kind of cutting and sharp. Um, so try to always um strike with the flat side, and you can go pretty hard with this. We've actually split this one. You can't see, but we've we've split this one. It's probably time to go to Target and get another one. But the first time we tried a spoon, we were both just kind of amazed at how much fun it added to the dynamic, how intense it can be. You know, we think we have to buy all this expensive gear, but a wooden spoon kind of just does the trick. And it also feels like really playful, but also surprisingly effective. So this is definitely one of my favorites. Now let's move on to number three, and this one is actually my Dom's favorite, and so this would be a flogger. So why floggers are so awesome to have is because they are very beginner-friendly, because they're less intimidating because the impact is spread across multiple strands, and it just makes it more gentler than some of the things like canes or even whips. So it's really hard to do a demonstration here, and and plus, I'm not a skilled DOM either, but you really want to just practice your aim on something like a pillow to ensure that you're having the proper distribution of the different tails. And you can start with wide sweeping motions and just again focus on the areas like the you know, the upper back, the the thighs, the butt, avoiding different, you know, bony areas or where your kidneys are too. And these come in different sizes too. So this is the one my my Dom likes to use, but we also have one that's even smaller for travel too. And if you're a member of our Dom subtraining course, there's even uh a how-to video where I I do demonstrate how to use a flogger. So if you're a member, definitely go back and check that out. But floggers are so amazing because doesn't it sound incredible to just feel these different soft strands, just lightly brushing the skin before delivering like a gentle thud on you. So this is why so many people love the flogger because it's just so versatile and you can explore pleasure and pain with it. So, my pro tip with these, whether you're using smaller ones or even these bigger ones, definitely check the material. Um, leather or you know, suede leather, those are some of the most common ones, but there are vegan options too that you can look for. And um, a lot of these toys and tools I'm sharing with you we've gotten from Stock Room, and you can use our affiliate link at domps of living.com/slash stockroom. I'll even put links in the show notes in the description too. But now we're on to number four. Um, so this would actually be the paddle. So why a paddle is so effective is because paddles can come in various materials and sizes, so you can choose one that matches the experience you want. It can be soft and playful or firm and intense. I've seen these with studs on them, with spikes on them, with even Legos on them. So I've seen some that are even more padded and just really, really soft. So there's such a wide variety. Again, you know, at domsubliving.com slash stockroom, you can see so many different tools there. But for how to use a paddle, so again, kind of like with the spoon, you want to use the the flat side for more of a broad impact. You can experiment with the rhythm, try really light taps, followed by a firmer one, and just kind of get that rhythm and really listen for the sound. It can really enhance the sensory experience when you are focusing on that sound to hear the kinds that are more stinging and the ones that are more thuddy. Because have you ever noticed how the sound of a paddle can make the scene even more thrilling? When you're bringing all the senses into it, it just makes it even more incredible. So now we're on to number five, and this one is actually my favorite, and it is the writing crop. So why this is so fun is because it has a lot of precision and a lot of dramatic sound, and the writing crop is just great for really targeting specific areas like the thighs or the shoulders or even intimate areas too. So I think that's why I like it so much. But for a step-by-step guide on how to use this, kind of like with the the wooden spoon and the paddle, it's all about where you hold it, and so a lot of them will have a handle like you can see here. So um definitely use the handle if it has it, or you can just hold it in the middle, but you can definitely experiment. Um, and again, just start with those light taps, and then you can give even more full strikes, and even smacking it on my hand, it really, really stings. So um, again, target those fleshy areas to avoid injury because things on on bones can be really, really painful. But you can use it on more of the the intimate parts of the body, and so it's just really targeted and a lot of fun. But when we first got a writing crop, it was so exciting because it just added this whole new level of it experimentation because it was really elegant but powerful at the same time, because you can kind of drag it over the body. And one thing my Dom likes to do is have me wear a blindfold and he'll just drag it over my body, and then I won't know when the impact is gonna happen, when he's gonna make it sting. So it's just that anticipation that just makes it so fun. So, my biggest tips for beginners is um again, like I've already said, avoid those bony areas like the joints, um, the spine, um, different organs in the body, so like the kidneys, and to always have a safe word system. So using green where that means okay, you can keep going, or I want more, and then yellow when you want to slow down or you're close to your limit, and then red where that means stop. So definitely check in frequently during impact play scenes. And then you want to have aftercare too. And aftercare is so important because after a scene, your body and mind need time to calm down. So this can look like um cuddling a warm drink or even just quiet time together that can just make all the difference. But also because you're doing impact play, you probably want to massage those different places that were receiving the impact. So maybe massaging, um, putting different lotions on, whatever feels good for you. So, which of these five ideas are you most excited to try? Or do you have a favorite tool that I didn't mention? Leave a comment. I'd love to hear from you. And if you found this helpful, hit the subscribe button and check out my free resource library for more beginner friendly tips and guides. You can access it for free at domsubliving.comslash free, and I'll put a link for it in the description too. But until next time, keep embracing your power and pleasure through Dom Subliving.