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The first time my husband locked my collar around my neck, I had no idea how much it would change our dynamic or how often people would ask about it. Collars are one of the first things people notice in DS relationships. But it's not just about what they see, it's about what it means inside the dynamic. If you've ever wondered why I wear mine 24-7 or if it's even practical, you're not alone. I'm Alessandra from Dom Subliving, and today I'm taking you behind the scenes of what it's really like to live collared every single day. Welcome to the Dom Subliving Podcast. I get so many questions about wearing my collar and just DS collars in general, so I'm going to be answering all of them today. So that way by the end of this episode, you'll know everything you need to know about collars and what it's really like wearing a collar 24-7 in my DS marriage. So, first of all, what do collars mean in a DS dynamic? Well, there's a lot of symbolism involved because collars represent ownership, they represent commitment and trust. And for me, this collar is a constant reminder of my submission and my Dom's responsibility to care for me. It's a lot like a wedding ring in a vanilla marriage, but with a meaning that's deeply tailored to our DS relationship. And for me personally, I'll never forget the moment when we had our intimate collaring ceremony, that moment when my dom just secured the collar around my neck. It just gave me a huge sense of belonging and trust like never before, even more so when he even gave me my wedding ring. So it was then like our dynamic had really strengthened in that instant and became even more permanent. So you may be thinking, well, why did I choose this collar in particular? So just a little spoiler, this was not my first collar that I had. So if you've seen older pictures of me, I kind of had a different choker style collar. It was like a thin piece of leather and had a little um O ring, but that choker kind of gave me a little bit of a rash because it was constantly against my um against my throat more than laying low against my neck. Um and then I had a little discrete collar that was more kind of like a regular necklace, and that actually broke. Um, so we decided to get a different collar, and this one is kind of like the best of both worlds. It's still like a choker, really close to my skin, so I constantly feel it, and it's really dainty and elegant and more like a discrete collar. Um, and right about the time my other one broke, the the company that I got this from, they just came out with a new thin line of metal collars. So it seemed like the the perfect perfect time to kind of like switch and upgrade to more of this um 24-7 collar. But there was a lot of practical reasons that went into this collar too. We really wanted a collar that was subtle enough to kind of blend in with everyday life, but strong enough to wear 24-7. And this collar just really stood out to me and my Dom because it's discreet, it's hypoallergenic, and I have really sensitive skin and it's just really built to last. My Dom can even tug it and it's totally fine, it's not gonna break. And I will share um in a little bit where my Dom got it in just a second, but it is titanium too. And when my when it came into the mail and my Dom first opened it up, I remember he was really impressed with the craftsmanship of it, and um, you know, he knew right off the bat that it was really well quality, and he was just really impressed with it. It does come with this little hex screw um locking mechanism. If you're watching on YouTube, you can see it, but it it screws on. Um, and again, he was really just impressed with the the craftship of it. He he knows his his screws and and all of his metal work too. So he was just really impressed. And so a question I always get is can I take it off? And so, yes, and it's not permanent jewelry, and it can be screwed on and off. Um, when I do ever take it off, and I'll talk about the times where I do take it off, but when I do take it off, I I ask permission first, but you just turn it around and use the little screws or screwdriver, whatever. I don't even know what it's called, the hex screw. But so um I am able to do it on my own. It is a little bit harder, it's so um having my Dom do it um is a whole lot easier. But so the company we got it from is called Eternity Collars, and that's what this type of locking collar is. It's called an eternity collar, and it's just so sleek and durable. Um, they do have it in different finishes besides silver, so you can definitely check it out. Um, but I've had mine for a couple years now, and it still looks brand new. There's there's no scratches or anything. But if you are thinking of getting an eternity collar, I I highly recommend it. You can actually get $20 off at my affiliate link at domsubliving.com slash eternity. Just use code DomSubliving. But besides the practical aspects of wearing a collar as a submissive, there's actually a lot of emotional significance to. Um, this style really resonates with um my dynamic. It has a minimalist design that is just perfect for me. It feels like a constant part of who I am and not just something that I wear. So if you're thinking of what type of collar to get for yourself or for your submissive, um, you know, think about, you know, is your style more bold and statement making, or do you prefer something low-key for your DS collar? Um, but besides where I got my collar, probably the biggest question I get is do I wear my collar all the time? And the answer is pretty much. This collar is really comfortable to wear. I can wear it when I'm sleeping, showering, or working out. The only downside, if I had to name one with wearing this collar is if it's cold outside or cold in the house. Um, it is metal, so it will be kind of whatever room temperature it is. I'm I'm kind of a lizard when it comes to body temperature. So um, if the ambient temperature is cold, this collar will be cold and then it'll be cold against my skin. But that's really the only downside that I've seen. It really is built to sustain daily life. So I never have to worry about it rusting or breaking or irritating my skin. Um, and just like any other jewelry, you do get used to it. So I know a lot of times, like if you wear a ring for the first time, you know, for the first week, you notice it all the time. But then after that, you never know when you're wearing it, or you know, with your earrings or something like that. So it's the same with the collar. You know, once you've been wearing it for a while, you don't even notice it anymore. And it kind of makes me think of um, we used to have a dog, and when we would give the dog a bath, we would take off the dog's collar and give her a bath and we'd dry her off and she'd run around the house like dogs do, but she would just feel so nervous in antsie after a while when she didn't have her collar back on. You know, we'd usually, you know, sometimes even wash the collar, and she would just be so nervous that whole time she had the collar off. She'd be pacing and worrying, and then when we put the collar on her, back on her, she would just feel so secure again and happy even when we brought the collar out. So um, you know, I just always think about that. That I just feel so much more secure with it. And when I don't have it, I feel nervous and naked. So the collar just really has become a part of me. But like I said, I don't wear it all the time. So I usually don't wear it when I'm going to a dungeon or a club. And I know that sounds really, really weird, but the reason is because I am going to be wearing my play collar at a dungeon. And that is just um, I'll show you right here, it's more like this. So if you're watching on YouTube again, so this is my play collar. Um, you know, it's thicker, um, it's imitation leather, it has, you know, a big O-ring. And so to wear it on top of my discrete collar is a little awkward. Um, you can wear them at the same time, but just being double-collared to me just kind of feels a little weird to us. And I do get the question: well, what's the difference between a day collar and a play collar? So day collars are meant for everyday life. They're discrete, they're comfortable, you can wear them long term. But play collars like the one I showed you, those are usually more ornate, kind of bulky sometimes. Um, they can be removed after a scene. And we even do kind of like a collaring ceremony for our scenes where I will kneel and my dom will bring out the the play collar and put it on me. And then after our scene, he will take it off to kind of you know signal signal that you know the scene has come to an end. Um, and then we start doing aftercare. But um with all the the play collar too, we really like it because you can attach different implements. So with that O-ring, you can attach different cuffs to it with different extenders, you can attach a leash to it too. And for us, the the 24-7 collar is more symbolic and practical for daily wear. But I also don't wear my collar um when I'm doing certain things like getting a massage just because you know I want to be able to get my neck massaged without any hindrance. And yes, they can move it, but I just totally want them to be able to have complete access. Um, also, I don't wear it during medical procedures. Um, I've mentioned before that I have a past history of cancer, and so now I have to get a lot of scans all the time. I'm, you know, every year having to get MRI scans, you know, CAT scans, you named it, x-rays. So I will take it off for different medical procedures. I have found that a metal detector will not set it off. Um, I don't, you know, know if that'll be the case for everyone with these types of collars, but I have gone through many metal metal detectors and it has not set it off once. But um again, it's not permanent jewelry, so you can take it off for that with that little screwdriver thing I showed you. Um, and again, I have to ask for permission to take it off, even in those instances. And then the other question I get asked a lot is do people ask me about my collar when I'm out and about? And what do I do then? So surprisingly, most people don't ask. Um, I might get some like weird looks or just people kind of looking at it, but when someone does ask, I usually keep it really simple and just say it's a collar. Um, I did have an acquaintance ask once if it was, you know, like a choker trend, but I just kind of smiled and said, you know, no, it's just jewelry that's special to me. There was one time I was working out and a guy asked, is that a medical device? But I just kind of laughed and said, nope, it's just a necklace. Because, you know, depending on the situation or the person asking, um, really depends on the length of answer I will give them. You know, of course, if it's a close friend and I can tell they're they're really genuinely curious and they're not going to judge, I give them, you know, a more in-depth answer about it. But if it's just some random person, you know, and they already think, you know, it's weird, I'm not gonna give them an answer that's gonna just, you know, make some controversy or, you know, create a scene or anything. Usually just a simple answer is fine. But I do get a lot of people who say they're afraid to wear a DS collar in public or around friends and family because they're kind of worried what they will say if someone asks. And so I really think just take the time to kind of rehearse your answer in case that ever happens. Um, so just think, you know, how would you respond if someone asked about your collar? Would you be vague and you know, or would you share more openly about it? So just being prepared, I think will take a lot of that anxiety off. But I can almost guarantee you, like hardly anyone is going to ask. When we did first get this collar, um, I know our kids did ask, you know, what's that? But I just said, oh, it's new jewelry that dad got for me. And that was the the end of it. The kids, you know, their kids, they're off playing Legos, and they could really care less about what mom does or dad does. So, you know, they just asked their simple question and we just gave them a simple answer. And then the other question I get asked a lot around collars is how do you do a collaring ceremony? Um, and that is kind of like a loaded question. You can go a million directions because it's kind of like asking, How do you do a wedding ceremony? There is a ton of different ways you can do a wedding ceremony, but a collaring ceremony is just um kind of like a wedding where it is a commitment that you do in a ceremonious way, but it's really just uniquely designed for your DS relationship. Our ceremony was really intimate and private and really casual too. It was just at home, it was just the two of us. Um, you can write vows or go over your contract, even, and we have done that. So if you want a free contract to take a look at it, we have one at domsubliving.com/slash contract. Um, but you can even include small rituals that make it personal to you. Um, one thing my Dom did have me do is he had me kneel and he presented the collar to me and he put it on me. But my three biggest tips for creating a collaring ceremony is to keep it personal. So include details that mean something to both of you. You don't want to do something just because you heard or saw someone else do it. Um, and then my other tip is just if you want to write vows that really reflect your roles and your promises to each other. So things about being a DOM, things about being a sub. And then three, decide whether it's going to be private or if you want to include a small group of close friends who are respectful of dominant and submissive relationships and will validate your experiences and your roles and not judge you. But dream big here. If you could design your dream collaring ceremony, what would it include? Because I have seen ones that are really elaborate too, that would put you know, wedding ceremonies to shame. Um, but you can also do things like going on a honeymoon afterwards to kind of celebrate. So really just let your imagination go wild with this. For me personally, I tend to go small in everything we do for our actual marriage, even. We we actually just eloped without telling any of our friends or family. And it was like as soon as I turned 20. So it was just me and my husband, and now he's my dom. So it just made sense for us that our collaring ceremony was going to be really small and intimate too. So do what works best for you. But those are the biggest questions I get. So if you do have any other questions about collars, let me know in the comments and I will cover it in a future episode. But remember, wearing a collar 24-7 is about more than just the look. It's about commitment, trust, and connection. And for me, it's one of the most meaningful symbols in our DS marriage. And if you're thinking about getting your own collar, definitely check out the one I have at my affiliate link, DomSubliving.comslash eternity, and you can get $20 off with code Dom Subliving. And don't forget to subscribe to hear more about my experiences in a 247 DS dynamic. But until next time, keep embracing your power and pleasure through Dom Subliving.