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Everyone thinks their kinks are either too weird or too basic. Well, I did the research, and here's the truth. The one you probably secretly love is actually one of the most popular. I'm Alessandra from Dom Subliving, and today we're breaking down the 10 kinks that people can't get enough of. And if you think you already know the top kinks, I dare you to guess. Welcome to the Dom Subliving Podcast. Before we dive in, if you've ever wondered just how many kinks are out there, I've got something for you. I put together a free checklist of over 50 different kinks, from the most popular to some you've probably never even heard of. You can grab it now at domsubliving.com slash checklist, and that way you can start exploring. I'll put a link for it in the description too, because trust me, there are definitely a few on there that will surprise you. So go check it out, domsubliving.com slash checklist. But I just want to reassure you that today's episode isn't about judgment, it's about exploration. So whether you're brand new or you're deep into the scene, you probably will find something on this list that you love. And if you don't, well, maybe I need to do a 10 most underrated kinks next. So definitely subscribe if you want me to make that episode. But before we start, drop a comment and tell me what do you think is the number one most popular kink? Because no cheating, I want you to guess first, and then you can see if you were right. And of course, just a quick disclaimer here and a reminder this video is purely educational. And just because something is popular doesn't mean you need to do it and like it. And I often get asked what actually counts as a kink, because people define kink differently. Some will say it's anything outside of you know vanilla stuff, and others think that it has to be extreme or taboo. But the truth is a lot of kinks are actually way more common than you'd expect. And a lot of times people will tell me a kink that they have and they will ask, Am I, you know, quote unquote normal? Um, but just because a kink is popular doesn't mean that everyone is into it. And, you know, I don't really like using that word normal, but I, you know, would rather say, is it common? So, you know, just like with movies or food or fashion or trends, you know, all these things will will come and go. And some of these kinks have been around for centuries, even, while others on this list have just kind of exploded in popularity only recently. So um, again, it's not about what is normal, but we're just going to be talking about what is the most common or the most popular. And just a quick note on consent before we jump into the top 10, because I say this in everything that I do, but it's worth repeating that consent is everything. And just because something is popular doesn't mean it's safe. And just because something is intense doesn't mean it's wrong either. So if you're new to kink, always do your research first. So let's get into the 10 most popular kinks. And I'm going to be ranking these from the least popular to the most popular. And for each of these kinks, I will be talking about what it is. Um, I'll be talking about why it's popular. I'll give you examples so you can enjoy it too. I'll be also sharing some of my own personal stories. So I really don't want you to just skip through these because we are going to be covering a lot. And hopefully, I will give you some inspiration and some tips and tricks with each of these so you can try it on your own if you're wanting to explore. So, number 10 on our list is sensation play. And you may be thinking, well, wait, is this even a kink? I thought this was just kind of a foreplay thing. But um, no, this is really huge. In fact, I did a whole video on it just last week. So definitely check that out. But what sensation play is and sensory play, it's really just using textures and temperature, um, different pressures just to really enhance your pleasure. Because have you ever experimented with temperature play, you know, maybe hot or cold or both? Well, those are all sensation plays. And why this one is so popular is because it's very low risk. It's really easy for beginners, it enhances your body awareness too, and you can just use what you already have at home. So, some examples of this are things like ice cubes, wax play, blindfolds, um, Wartenberg wheels. And the first time I tried wax play, I was actually so nervous. I thought I was going to burn myself, that it would hurt too much, but instead it felt surprisingly relaxing because who knew hot wax could be a kink and just kind of like a spa treatment at the same time. But um, we also ruined our carpet, but that's a whole other story for another time. Okay, number nine on our list is voyeurism and exhibitionism. So, some of these I'm going to be kind of lumping them together. So, what voyeurism and exhibitionism is, it's the thrill of watching others or being watched. And why it's so popular is because of the forbidden element here. So it just really is so exciting. And just because you're into either maybe voyeurism, it doesn't automatically mean you're into the exhibition side, but some people are into both. But um, you may be wondering, is this even legal? Well, there is, you know, ethical, you know, implications here. So you always want to make sure that everyone who is either, you know, watching or being watched that they are doing this consensually. So, some examples to kind of explore this kink is you know, going to things like strip clubs, um, watching amateur videos, um, being watched while playing in a safe space like a dungeon. And the first time I realized I liked exhibitionism and was really into that was at a play party at a dungeon. And I had thought going into it that I'd be just, you know, feeling really exposed, but instead it felt really empowering. There's just something about knowing that other people are watching that adds an entirely new level of excitement. So you can think, you know, would you rather be the watcher or the one being watched? Or maybe even both too. But so if you're into this, then you're probably into the exhibitionism and voyeurism kink. But number eight on our list is degradation and humiliation. So, what these kinks are is being called names, maybe being embarrassed or being put down. And again, this is in a consensual way. And why it's so popular is because of the emotional intensity. There's power dynamics involved, and being able to take back ownership, even for maybe something that you've always felt shame about, that now you get to own that and have power around that. So, some examples would be verbal humiliation, um, forced embarrassment, um, just different degradation play, like maybe having to dress a certain way or be completely, you know, unclothed and having to do that. Um, and a lot of times people will hear about different, you know, degradation and humiliation, and they think, why would anyone want to be, you know, insulted or expose themselves to that? But, you know, there's a lot of psychology in degradation play. Um, again, you can check out our past videos that we've done around this, but it can be very fulfilling, to be honest. But I know I used to think this kink was just about being mean to your partner, and I have a lot of insecurities. So I was always afraid to explore this. But you know, the first time we really started getting into this, and you know, my partner was even calling me names, um, I was like, okay, I get it now. It just really changed the way I saw power dynamics um and different, you know, ways to interact with your partner. And I did feel like I was taking back a lot of power from something I felt really shameful for. So it can be a lot of fun, but also therapeutic too. So if you want to get started with this, you know, think about what's a humiliating thing someone could say to you that would actually maybe turn you on, or something you could say, you know, to your partner, even, but um, you know, dip your toes into it. But I think you'd be surprised that it could be a lot of fun. So, number seven on our list is DDLG and things like age play and even bratting play. So these are kind of like role-based kinks where one person kind of takes on a caretaker role and the other person takes on a more playful, younger or rebellious role. But why is bradding and age play and DDLG, why is it so popular? Well, there's a lot of playfulness involved, there's even a lot of structure, there's the the nurturing dynamic, there's also the fact that it's very taboo. Um, some people will, you know, be into these things like DDLG, and they'll think, well, does this mean that, you know, people who are into these things, does it mean they're more likely to be predators? And no, it's about role play and power exchange and having limits and safe words. Um, and even exploring things like age play and DDLG, it can really help you overcome childhood traumas, even. But I kind of just had this stigma around bratting and used to think bratting was more about just being annoying until I really realized it was more about pushing buttons to get a reaction and to get attention too, and to kind of make a game out of it. And then my Dom too discovered he really loved putting brats in their place. So it was kind of just like this light bulb moment that we had that was like, oh, this dynamic can really work for us. So now we really love the brat dynamic and age play and DDLG. So if you're interested in this type of kink, but you're not sure, so maybe think, well, are you the type of person who really likes to follow rules? Or maybe do you like to break the rules and see what happens, or have your partner break the rules so you can put them in place? Or maybe you're into things like little play, like um, you know, coloring and stickers and all those things. So um this kink can be, you know, a lot of fun, and there's so many different ways to explore it. You can explore it with clothing, even too. So it's definitely one of my favorites. But number six on our list is just roleplay in general. So, roleplay is when you're acting out different scenarios to really add excitement, playfulness, and just fantasy, even, and bringing that into your intimate relationships. And why roleplay is so popular is because it allows you to explore taboos, but also other power dynamics, um, even hobbies, even if you're really into something, then you can roleplay it. And then you can explore all these things in a really safe, controlled way. So it makes sense that roleplay is just so popular. So some of the most common examples of roleplay are things like doctor-patient, um, teacher-student, um, you know, pretending you're strangers, meeting somewhere like at a bar. You can do supernatural um roleplay, you know, different fantasies and scenarios. So, you know, things like vampires and and werewolves, even, or, you know, anime, Star Wars, Star Trek, you name it. Um, there's so many ways you can role play, and you can do it with, you know, not just the things you say and do, but also costumes too. But to really get your creative juices flowing on this one, just really think if you could roleplay any scenario, what would it be? So really go big here. But um, number five on our list is impact play. So, what impact play is, it's using controlled physical impact to really enhance pleasure and sensations. And why it's so popular is because when you're mixing kind of pain with pleasure, it can just be deeply arousing. And it's just adding that other layer onto your power exchange. So, some examples are spanking. Um, you can use a hand, uh a paddle, a belt, even flogging, um, whether it's you know with leather, faux leather, or suede, um, caning, uh, for those who really like more of a sting, slapping, you can do this on, you know, the face, the thighs, the the buttocks. So um, you know, just really let your imagination go wild here with the amount of impact play you can do. And I know for me personally, um, even though I'm a huge masochist, I was just so nervous to try spanking because I thought it was just so cliche and silly. But once I started experiencing it and just really having that afterglow afterwards, it just really, you know, took me to a whole different, you know, head space. And, you know, I finally understood like why this is so common. And, you know, it's really just one of my favorite ways to just really snap me back into that submissive headspace. So, one question I always like to, you know, ask other kinksters when I meet them for the first time, um, or sometimes I'll post this in our community and you can join at domsubliving.com slash community. But I always like to ask people if you could use only one impact toy for the rest of your life, what would it be? Would it be a paddle, a flogger, or a cane? Um, personally, for me, it would probably be the writing crop. That's just one of my favorite impact play toys. But we're getting closer to the top. Now we're at number four. So number four is bondage. So this is also things like rote bondage and also you know, shabari. But what bondage is, is using restraints to really enhance submission and trust and sensation play too. So a lot of these overlap. But why it's so popular is because it blends power exchange, the aesthetic appeal of it too. It just looks nice. Um, and there's just a lot of deep trust building involved. So, some examples of this are things like handcuffs, silk scarves, um, even ties, different leather cuffs. And then you have, of course, you know, the rope bondage with all the different types of rope you can use, like, you know, nylon and and cotton and even natural other fibers, like you know, jute. And then there's uh mummification where you can wrap the whole body in cling wrap. Um, and this isn't just about being tied up. So when you take something like Shabari, that's a Japanese art form. And it can be just as much about mindfulness as it is about kink. If you've ever seen um shibari or different intricate rope bondages, it's it's just so beautiful. But um, you know, a lot of times when I'm doing it, you know, we think like we're we're waiting for the end product so we can just put it on display and go, ta-da, like look what I did with this rope. But it's really about the process of it and being so intimate with your partner and feeling each tie. And it's such a beautiful dance. So it really allows you to take things slow and it puts you in this vulnerable position too. So I could totally see why this is so far up the list. Bondage is just so popular because there's something powerful about surrendering completely and just trusting your partner. So, you know, if you want to explore this, you know, think would you rather be tied up or would you rather be the one tying? So, you know, these would be roles like the the rigger or the rope top would do the tying. And then you have roles like rope bottom, or sometimes we call it a rope bunny, but you can go back and forth. And so, you know, you can be a switch with you know all of these kinks. You don't have to be the the top or the bottom, you can go back and forth. Um, so there's just so much to enjoy here. The next one is one of my ultimate favorites, and that is CNC or consensual non-consent. So, what this is is pre-negotiated, role-play-based power dynamics, and it just really, you know, takes non-consensual situations, but embraces them in a fully consensual and safe way. And why it's so popular is because it plays with things like adrenaline, trust, surrender. Um, it allows people to explore darker fantasies without that actual risk. So some of the biggest examples are resistance play, like you know, struggling or, you know, fighting back, um, abduction role play, where you would have to definitely plan this in advance with clear limits. Um, I wish I could go into so much of this deeper because I just love CNC so much, but I will probably get flagged for a bunch of this stuff. So definitely head to our site at domsubliving.com and slash and search for CNC. We cover this so much more there. But one of the best ways I like to explain consensual non-consent is that I like it even when I don't like it. So it can sound a little bit weird, but there's times where I genuinely do not like what is going on. But at a deeper level, I I do like it. It's hard to explain. Um, but if you're into this, I I know you get it. But a lot of times people will think, well, isn't this dangerous? And but remember, it's only done with clear boundaries. C and C is one of the most heavily negotiated forms of kink play. So before you get involved with this, make sure you completely trust your partner and you have done a bunch of negotiation and talking and communicating beforehand. Because this is a big kink that you do not want to mess with. But when I first started really delving into CNC, I was just really terrified about what it meant about me as a person. Um, and after talking through all of the details with my Dom, I just realized how much trust was involved, you know, more than anything. So the intensity of it was really unmatched between all the other scenes that we had done before. But I knew I was just completely safe the uh the entire time, but it just really brought us closer together because we were exploring something, you know, so dark and risky. But um, you know, if CNC is something you'd like to explore, um, definitely you can learn more on our site. But um, maybe you're not into it, and that's totally okay too. And now we're at number two. So we're getting closer to the top kink. But number two is DS or dominance and submission. So this is a power exchange dynamic where one partner takes on a dominant role and the other a submissive role. And a lot of people like this kink because it offers structure, there's trust involved, there's emotional depth. Um, it's, you know, extends beyond the bedroom for a lot of couples when they're exploring DOM sub roles. And so, some ways to incorporate this into your relationship is to do different, you know, rituals. So things like kneeling, um, having a collar like I do. Um, you can have roles and protocols. So you where the submissive has to. Ask for permission for certain things. You can use different titles like sir or mistress, um, master, even. But always remember that submission is always freely given, it's never taken. And so a submissive is always in control of how much power they give. And so that's why we have things like safe words and limits. And, you know, Dom should have those too. But I used to think that submission really meant weakness. But when I really stepped into the submissive role and really owned it, I realized it takes a crazy amount of trust and strength to really, you know, give up this control to my partner. So if you're wanting to explore this too, maybe think about, you know, are you naturally more dominant? Are you more submissive? Or maybe you're a switch too, and you can kind of go back and forth. But now the most popular kink. So this is number one, and it is BDSM. So BDSM is an umbrella term for bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, and sadism and masochism. And why it's number one is because BDSM encompasses many different kinks, many of the ones we've already talked about. So this really makes it the broadest and most practiced category in kink culture. And unfortunately, because of you know, things like 50 shades of gray, this has really become more and more popular over the years. So bondage can cover things like restraint, like you know, handcuffs, um, but it doesn't have to be elaborate either, too. Even just holding your partner down is technically a form of bondage. Um, and discipline doesn't have to have punishments. Discipline actually comes from the word disciple, which means taught one. So discipline can involve roles, it can involve training, it can involve rewards, and it can involve punishments too, if you're into that. And the sadomasochism part. So this means that you either enjoy giving or receiving pain, but again, you don't have to be completely into hardcore pain. But even something like tickling is a form of pain. A lot of people don't know that, or even, you know, biting your partner is a form of pain too. And a lot of times people ask me, you know, can I practice BDSM without doing any of the bondage stuff or doing any of the pain stuff? And, you know, I'm I'm not the BDSM police, you know, I'm not gonna tell someone they can or cannot do something or you know, the things they're into aren't, you know, real. But when we're talking about BDSM, we are talking about all those things. So, you know, if you're someone who doesn't, you know, enjoy maybe the pain play, but maybe you're into the bondage. And that's why a lot of these were pieced out into the the other, you know, the other, you know, nine of these were kinks, you know, the bondage and you know, the the DS. So BDSM though is again that umbrella and you know term that encompasses everything. And that's why it's just so popular. It's why I love it so much. It is just the the chef's kiss of kinks. It is just encompasses everything. And I I love it so much. And I'm totally guilty of getting into BDSM and just assuming it was just about wits and chains and pain. But the more I explore, the more I realized BDSM is just about connection and trust and exploring your deepest desires in a safe way and in an extremely fun and kinky way. So if you are into BDSM, really think about what is your favorite part of BDSM? Is it the bondage, is it the dominance and the submission, or is it something else? But there you have it, 10 of the most popular kinks ranked from least common to most common. So did any of those surprise you, or did your guess for number one turn out to be right? Definitely let me know in the comments. And I would love to know what's your favorite kink. Is it on the list that I just gave you? Or do we need to do a top 10 underrated kinks? So should that be our next episode? But don't forget to download your free checklist of over 50 different kinks so you can explore even more and maybe even discover a new favorite. So you can grab it for free right now at domsubliving.com slash checklist. I'll put a link for it in the description too. Oh, and if you want an episode on the most taboo kinks that people secretly love but don't talk about, let me know in the comments too, because I have a feeling that one's going to be a very fun episode. But until next time, keep embracing your power and pleasure through Dom Subliving.