SPEAKER_00 0:00

Does your bondage feel a little intimidating? Or maybe you've just been doing the same old, same old? Well, I've got a challenge for you. By the end of this episode, I bet you'll have at least one new bondage idea to try. This is a special replay from last year's Dom Sub Dynamics Summit, where my Dom Jay, and I shared beginner to advance techniques. And you can even grab a free ticket to this year's summit at Dom Subdynamics.com. Let's get into it. Welcome to the Dom Sub Living Podcast. And I am here today with my Dominant Jay.

SPEAKER_01 0:34

Hey everyone. I'm really excited to be here with you all today. And we're going to be talking about bondage, and it's going to be a lot of fun.

SPEAKER_00 0:41

Yes, it is. So how about we dig in?

SPEAKER_01 0:43

Sounds good.

SPEAKER_00 0:44

So welcome to our presentation on bondage for beginners and beyond. And like we said, we are Jay and Alessandra, and we help new and experienced DOMs and subs live the BDSM lifestyle to the fullest. And one of the ways we do that is through our signature Dom Sub training course. And just a little bit about us personally. We are a 24-7 Dom sub couple, and we have been in that dynamic for about a decade, but we are also married and have been married for over 20 years. And we also have two children. So we know a lot about how to enjoy and practice bondage in real life after all these years. So and we've also helped hundreds of our students and clients to explore bondage too.

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So before we dive into how you can take things to the next level in your bondage practice, let's go over exactly what bondage even is. So bondage is just basically involves consensually restraining a partner or being restrained by your partner.

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And if you're here while this presentation is being streamed live, feel free to let us know in the chat box if you enjoy bondage, whether you enjoy it as a DOM or a sub or even as a switch too.

SPEAKER_01 1:58

And bondage can be enjoyed on its own, maybe doing something like self-tying, shibari, rope bondage, or it can be incorporated with other aspects of BDSM, like pain play or discipline or even power exchange.

SPEAKER_00 2:11

Now here's where people tend to go wrong with bondage. So a lot of times when people get started with bondage, they only think about rope. But in reality, there's a variety of ways to enjoy bondage. And so if you just think of bondage in terms of rope, you're leaving out all of the amazing other ways to enjoy bondage. So things like, you know, cuffs and different tapes and different change and all the different bondage-specific furniture, even. So all of those offer different sensations and different kinds of experiences. And we're gonna be going over a lot of those today.

SPEAKER_01 2:50

And there's also psychological bondage, and that really involves the control of movement without using physical restraints. But instead, you're using commands or mental conditioning.

SPEAKER_00 3:02

And kind of related to that is sensory bondage. So we'll be going over that as well. But also, people will sometimes get started with bondage and they end up using wrong or even dangerous materials. So I'm sure when you were younger, you've seen those cheap pink fuzzy handcuffs that you can get at places like Spencer's Gifts. But we're grown-ups now and we buy grown-up bondage gear.

SPEAKER_01 3:30

Yeah, so no kiddie, unsafe bondage gear, but also you don't want to go to the other end of the spectrum and start out too complex. So don't jump into complex ties or things like suspension when you haven't, you know, mastered basic nuts and safety practices.

SPEAKER_00 3:47

And you don't also want to assume that things like Shibari rope bondage, that it's just this pretty art and, you know, not really a big deal, but you know, you don't have to understand all the intricacies of safety, but you really do. You really need to understand, you know, all the safety precautions and make this a consensual practice. Because we don't really, we don't want to underestimate how complex and dangerous these things can be, that it is really serious bondage, and we want to respect it.

SPEAKER_01 4:23

So it's good to keep in mind that there's lots of ways to enjoy bondage. And above all, you know, you want to be safe and explore slowly, but also don't be afraid to progress to more advanced activities. And we're going to show you exactly how to do all of that today.

SPEAKER_00 4:38

So, first things first, let's just quickly review some basic protocols. So, when exploring bondage, especially more intense forms like torture bondage or things like Shibari that can be really physically demanding, you want to make sure that you're still prioritizing safety and consent because BDSM is founded on the principles of SSC, which is safe saying consensual, and RAC, which is risk-aware consensual kink. So before diving into any bondage practice, it's just really crucial to have open and honest discussions about boundaries, desires, potential risks, things like that. So you want to establish a safe word or even a safe gesture. Um, all those things are essential for maintaining control and ensuring the safety of everyone who's involved. And you never want to leave someone who's bound. You never want to leave them unattended. You need to regularly check in with them and make sure they are comfortable and that they are still consenting.

SPEAKER_01 5:47

And yes, bondage definitely includes discussing your limits and creating a scene and negotiation and aftercare. But we're not going to go over those things in detail because a lot of the amazing summit speakers will be discussing those things. But now let's go over some of my favorite bondage gear. And feel free to screenshot this list. So we have ropes, and they're used in various bondage practices, including Shibari. Uh they come in different materials like cotton, hemp, or nylon. And we have cuffs, male metal or padded cuffs used for restraining wrists or ankles. We have bondage tape, uh it's a self-adhesive tape that sticks only to itself. We have collars that are worn around the neck, often as a symbol of submission. Some have rings on them for attaching other restraints or leashes. There's blindfolds that are used to deprive the sense of sight, heightening the sub's other senses. And there's gags, and those are designed to mute or limit the speech of the submissive. Common types of these include ball gags, bit gags, and cloth gags. And there's earplugs or headphones, they provide sensory deprivation. And other restraint systems, so these include under-a-bed restraints, over-the-door restraints, and bondage furniture. Spreader bars, and these are bars with cuffs at each end, and we use those to keep the legs or the arms apart. Bondage benches, that's just furniture designed for bondage. Suspension gear or equipment to it and for advanced bondage allows the submissive to be suspended off the ground. This includes hooks, frames, pulley systems, and there's nipple clamps. And it's like a sound, so there's clamps applied to the nipples for sensation play. And chast duty devices, the devices to prevent genital stimulation or intercourse. Hoods and masks, hogtie connectors, they're connectors used to bind someone's wrist to their ankles, and that's typically behind their back, and leashes attached to the collars for leading or controlling the movement of the submissive.

SPEAKER_00 7:48

So wow, that was a great list. So you can see some of these range from beginner to advance, and it doesn't have to be expensive either. So you can go DYI, make your own bondage furniture, like you know, make your own St. Andrew's Cross. I know, Jay, you like to build your own gear. So um you can use even what they call pervertibles for so these are things where you take everyday objects, you know, that you can find around the house and you just kind of make them kinky. So for example, using, you know, in something like clothespins um instead of buying nipple clamps could be a great way to take a household object that's really cheap and just make it kinky. But if you do want to shop for some of these things, our favorite store is Stock Room, and you can use our special affiliate link if you want at domsubliving.com/slash stockroom.

SPEAKER_01 8:43

And let us know in the chat what your favorite items on that list are. But just a disclaimer, it's important to remember that all these tools should be used with a thorough understanding of their operation safety considerations. So play responsibly.

SPEAKER_00 8:57

Mm-hmm. And now that you know the tools of the trade, let's explore how to fully explore bondage. And we're going to be focusing on the two main branches of bondage, and so those would be physical and psychological bondage.

SPEAKER_01 9:15

So, first let's talk about physical. Now, physical bondage usually involves some type of physical restraint of the body, and it can involve pain, pleasure, or both. Personally, I like to mix the two sensations, so I might create an uncomfortable scenario with my sub in some painfully restrained position, like say gagged and hog tied, and then using something pleasurable like a vibrator, or do some more soothing bondage like a silk blindfold or synthetic rope ties, and then incorporating some pain play with like a paddle. And some things like nipple clamps can be both painful and pleasurable, so it's really good to have a mix and refer back to that list that we had up and keep a journal of what you've done, how you did it, and the effects it had on your partner. And if you're an advanced player, you can even start exploring things like torture bondage and CNC or consensual non-consent, things like orgasm denial or forced orgasm.

SPEAKER_00 10:16

And now let's talk about psychological bondage. So, like we said earlier, this can involve controlling movement without physical restraints, but instead you're using things like commands or mental conditioning. And this can range from simple tasks to more complex instructions, but the emphasis is really on obedience and control, and that can just really heighten the sense of submission. So, for example, instead of restraining the sub, telling them to remain completely still or in a certain position, like with their hands over their head, and just not to move from that position or else they get punished. So, in that scenario, you're not even using ropes or restraints, you're just commanding the submissive to be in a certain position. So then there's sensory deprivation. So this usually includes, you know, different physical elements like blindfolds or headphones, um, masks or hood. So sensory deprivation, though, can also be a really good psychological tool because you're limiting the submissive senses, and that heightens their awareness of their partner's presence, their partner's commands, and just really increasing the psychological submission. And then there's humiliation and degradation. For some, consensual humiliation and degradation can be a powerful form of psychological bondage, but you definitely want to make sure it's consensual because it's really important to discuss and consent to these types of play and just understand the emotional impact they may have because you can do a lot of damage. Um, but so some examples of this kind of bondage is just things like putting the sub in a degrading position or using something like a collar and a leash or a chastity cage, even. And then there's things like mind games and anticipation. So this is where you use the power of anticipation to really control the submissive's mental state. And this can involve things like orgasm denial, teasing, or just being unpredictable in how the DOM is acting. Because just the mental aspect of not knowing what comes next can be a real huge form of bondage itself.

SPEAKER_01 12:45

So if you're watching this while it's being streamed, let us know in that chat box if you prefer physical or psychological bondage or if you like to mix the two.

SPEAKER_00 12:56

And we just want to point out that bondage can be loving. It doesn't have to be sadistic or mean. And being bound can be very therapeutic and it can really make the submissive feel secure and safe, and it can be really sensual and loving too.

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And that goes into how you can use bondage to improve your dynamics. So practicing bondage regularly, so that means ideally, like once a week or even once a month, can really help you to build trust and intimacy.

SPEAKER_00 13:25

And exploring power exchange can really help you to improve your Dom sub dynamic too, because it just really helps you to embrace your role as a Dom or a sub. And when you're dealing with all these raw emotions of sadism and masochism and pleasure and pain, it just makes you really vulnerable. And then it can deepen your connection between you and your partner too, because you're communicating on a regular basis of what you like and what you don't like. And then bondage can also empower you and build your self-esteem. So it's kind of like putting in a good workout at the gym and getting through bondage either as a DOM or the sub, it just gives you this sense of accomplishment because it does take a lot out of you physically and mentally. So being able to share that with your partner just really improves your dynamic.

SPEAKER_01 14:20

So just to review some of the things that we've learned today, so today you learned how to practice bondage safely and incorporate it in different ways with different gear. We learned how to explore both physical bondage and psychological bondage types, and we learned how to use bondage to really improve your dynamic. So your homework today is to pick one new type of bondage and one new piece of bondage gear to explore. So maybe you can pick from some of the ideas that we gave you, or even ask in the private summit community for some ideas. And you can share there also what kind of bondage you're excited to really focus on. And remember, we're always learning, so even if we're advanced, we can still hone and perfect our skills. So start a bondage journal also, and that's a really good way to progress. Keep track of your progress. Thank you all for watching today, we really appreciate it, and we'll see you next time.