The Dom Sub Living BDSM and Kink Podcast
Welcome to the Dom Sub Living Podcast, your go-to kinky resource, so you can get out of the vanilla rut, become the best Dominant or submissive you can be, and make BDSM a lifestyle. Explore the many facets of the Dom/sub lifestyle and gain practical insights and tips to enhance your journey.
Your host, Alesandra Madison, is a renowned BDSM educator, empowering individuals and couples to embrace their sensual selves. As the creator of Domsubliving.com, Alesandra promotes sex education, healthy power dynamics, and open communication. With a commitment to inclusivity, she helps kinksters create authentic and fulfilling intimate experiences.
Whether you're seeking guidance, desiring to deepen your understanding of the lifestyle, or simply looking for entertainment and connection, the Dom Sub Living Podcast is your trusted companion. You’ll learn about BDSM, kink, power exchange, Daddy Dom/little girl relationships (DDlg), D/s, sexual wellness, bondage, and more. Each episode features engaging discussions, expert interviews, and heartfelt stories, ensuring a diverse and enriching listening experience you're not going to want to miss. Hit subscribe, and get ready to transform your life and relationship.
The Dom Sub Living BDSM and Kink Podcast
5 BDSM Scene Ideas You’ll Want To Try Tonight
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
#082 Who says you need a dungeon or hours of planning for a night you’ll never forget?
🎁 Want step-by-step worksheets and real scene examples to put these ideas into action? Check out our “Scene Creation Mastery” (only $9!) at https://domsubliving.com/scene-creation-mastery/
In this episode we're sharing 5 simple and powerful BDSM scene ideas you can use tonight—no fancy gear or prep required. From voice-only command scenes and sensory deprivation with household items, to secret service rituals, playful punishment games, and emotional restraint with praise, you’ll find inspiration for any dynamic. Plus, don’t miss the 5-minute scene challenge! Ready to make your night unforgettable?
➡️ Scene Creation Mastery course (only $9 right now!): https://domsubliving.com/scene-creation-mastery/
➡️ Show notes and more: https://domsubliving.com/082
❤️ Join the All-Access Pass for community, coaching, and courses: https://domsubliving.com/allaccess
You don't need a dungeon, a checklist, or six hours to create an amazing scene tonight. I'm Alessandra from Dom Subliving, and I'm giving you five ideas you can actually use right now. Let's make this easy. Welcome to the Dom Subliving podcast. Look, some nights you're hyped up and you're ready to plan a whole elaborate fantasy, but other nights you just kind of want to have something simple that still feels hot, connected, but real. And it's not about having fancy, expensive equipment. It's about the energy you bring. So today I'm sharing five fun scene ideas you can try. And seriously, idea number three that I'm going to share, it's the simplest thing ever, but it completely changed how my DOM and I connect. So I'll tell you about it in a sec. But grab a notebook or just keep some mental notes. And I'd love to know which idea are you going to steal tonight? So definitely let me know afterwards. So scene idea number one is the voice-on command scene. So this is where there is no touching, um, no really looking at each other, just obedience release. So it's just the Dom's voice guiding the sub, teasing them, controlling them. So, how would that completely change the energy between you and your partner? So, this scene is about pure anticipation release, because instead of overwhelming the sentences, you just kind of strip everything away except the sound of command. And it forces a different kind of surrender, almost a deeper kind, because you can't rely on touch, you can't rely on looks or even just little gestures. You have to just literally listen and obey. So you can keep this super simple where maybe you're just sitting across from each other, just a few feet away, but still no touching, just only listening. Um, or you can go even bigger where the submissive maybe starts off on their knees with their eyes cast down, um, and the DOM just kind of sits back in a chair even and just instructs from there, never really having to lift a finger. Um, or you can be on two different ends of the room together, and it just makes it so every word that the Dom says is even heavier. But that having that distance between you can just make the impact so much more stronger. But this is a great way for DOMs who are maybe new to the scene and don't really know how to wield something like a flogger, and they can just start off with commands. So I like to actually think of this one as kind of like a kinky Simon says. So some things the the Dom can tell their sub is to hold a position until they say otherwise, um, telling them to look down and that they're not allowed to make eye contact with the Dom. They can say something like, describe how much you love me touching you, but you're not allowed to move a single muscle or tell me exactly what you want me to do to you. And maybe if you beg hard enough, I'll actually consider it. So during this, Kinky Simon says there's so many different directions you can take with this. But the reason this type of scene is so powerful is because it's not just for in-person play either. It's amazing for long-distance dynamics too. My Dom actually had to work um for a while in the Bay Area. Um, we live in LA now, but during the week we're we were apart. And so this is one way we were still able to have scenes with either doing it over phone or even Zoom. He was able to instruct me to tell me to kneel. Um, there was no touching, obviously, but um I wasn't even speaking really, I was just listening to his every word. So he would tell me to hold different positions or to touch myself in a certain way. But the crazy thing was that even though we weren't together physically, there was just this strong connection. And every single second that maybe I held a position or something like that, it just felt like a thousand times longer than if we were in in person together doing these things. So um, it just really shows the pleasure that can come from just waiting and the anticipation and not being able to touch each other. So if you're not physically together because of maybe distance or work, don't even worry about it. You can do this type of scene over a voice message, a phone call, or even through texting, even. So you can send each other voice notes. You can say things like, you know, strip down for me and wait for my next command, or stand in front of the mirror and imagine my hands on your body, because seriously, the brain kind of fills in what the hands can't reach. There's a lot of power in imagination. You definitely don't need to be in the same room to make it hot. You just need the right words. So if you're a sub, could you handle hearing your Dom's voice like that? Just having that temptation kind of weaving through every word and having to stay completely, perfectly still and not move until you're given permission. Or would you break? Sometimes that's the fun of it too. And if you think this kind of scene is intense, just wait until you hear what's coming up next. So, my second scene idea that you can try tonight is sensory deprivation. So imagine being blindfolded and just every single touch, even the air on your skin, just feels so much more intense because you can't see what's coming, you can't predict the next touch. You're just totally wide open, but in the most delicious way. But sensory deprivation, it isn't just about taking something away. That's how a lot of people think about it, but it's really actually about making everything else more intense and louder. So touch, sound, scent, even the feeling of breath against your skin, all of it just becomes more magnified when you can really just you can't rely on your sight to process what's happening. You have to rely on your other senses. And the best part about this is you don't need any fancy, expensive gear. You can grab just a scarf and tie that around your head. You can use a sleep mask even, um, or even just close your eyes, having the DOM instruct the submissive to keep their eyes closed and agree to not open them until they're told. It's really just the simplicity that makes this so powerful. So you could start off really soft and easy, um, like I said, with a blindfold with your partner and then tease them with something like a feather or a piece of fabric and or even a Wartenberg wheel if you do have that um tool, but just barely brushing their skin and then just watching them shiver and get goosebumps is just the coolest thing. Or you could go colder, even literally, you can drag an ice cube slowly down their neck, across their ribs, especially if they're ticklish, down the inside of their thigh, um, and they will just not know what's coming next or when. And if you really want to turn off the tension, the Dom can whisper commands into the sub's ear while they're being blindfolded and using either something like the Whartonberg wheel or an ice cube. So the DOM can maybe describe every sensation before it actually happens, and this kind of lets the submissive's mind kind of spin the story before their body even experiences it. But one of the main reasons for me why I love having a blindfold on so much is because I actually deal with a lot of body insecurity. Um I'm really, really anxious in my own skin a lot of the times. Um I have a lot of traumas and things like that. So I have a hard time staying out of my head. And so when my Dom has me wear a blindfold, I don't have to see my body and nitpick all the things I don't like about it. It just allows me to feel and stay in the moment. And I'm not worrying, does he like this? How do I look? I don't like this, I wish this was different about me. And so that way he can just enjoy my body. And like he always tells me, my body is for him to enjoy, and I don't even have to like it. So I just love having the blindfold because it's just helped me to enjoy the scenes so much more deeply because I'm not worrying in the back of my mind, what do I look like, or I wish I looked different. So if you do want to take away sight in your next scene, um, think about some new ways you could explore touch. So whether that is with a Wurttemberg wheel or an ice cube, but also think about um what ways you could explore even sound or smell or taste even. So there's so many different ways you can explore sensory deprivation and adding back in the intensity of the other senses. And if you want to make this type of scene even spicier, you can try something like earplugs too, because when both sight and sound are gone, you're creating a total sensory drop. So your partner or or you will just feel everything like 10 times more intensely because the the brain doesn't know where to focus. So it just kind of shrinks everything down, and you're really just focusing on whatever sense you are focusing on in the moment. And now let's move on to idea number three, and this is honestly the sneakiest one because you can weave it right into everyday life, and no one around you would even know it's happening. You could be creating a full BDSM scene without anyone suspecting a thing. So, scene idea number three is the service task ritual because sometimes the most powerful BDSM scenes, they aren't about pain or impact, and they're not even really about physical pleasure either. They're about service and devotion and creating a quiet moment where the submissive is serving the Dom and the Dom is taking care of their sub. So this is about one partner giving and the other receiving, and it's a way to say, I see you, I honor you, I appreciate you. Um, so this kind of servicing can be just as intense and honestly just as erotic as anything that happens in the dungeon. Service rituals are some of my favorite type of scenes to do because they are just so beautiful because they turn these ordinary moments into extraordinary acts of submission or dominance. They really create layers in your dynamic, these just little tiny gestures that carry enormous weight, even when no one else would even notice. So you can start completely small. So make your partner their favorite drink, but don't just hand it to them. So present it. You can even kneel if you're at home and no one's around. Um, just you know, using both your hands, lowering your eyes, and just offering it up almost like it's a treasure to your partner. One super common way to do this in the kink scene is maybe where the submissive shines the shoes of the Dom, and they just kind of do it, you know, really perfectly and purposefully, where they're polishing, buffing, and maybe presenting them neatly by the door, and just, you know, with every swipe of the cloth, they're just thinking about their service to their dominant. So in the lifestyle, we call that type of scene boot blacking. Um, it can also involve boot licking, um, but it can be a lot of fun for people that want to explore that. And then speaking of shoes, you can even move on to feet and you can do a whole foot scene, even where you you give your partner a foot massage and just really worship every inch of their feet. Or you can keep it even simpler where the submissive presents themselves instead. So this is where they kind of maybe kneel in their favorite position with their palms open and just kind of waiting, giving themselves as a living offering, or the the DOM can even inspect them too, like their their property. Um, so you can really go simple with this or um elaborate even more. Um speaking of using a submissive's body, DOMs can also use their submissives as furniture, even as a a footstool, or using them to you know hold their favorite drink, um, hold the book for them, even, um, using them as a chair. Um, so you can take these kind of service protocols and just turn them into a whole scene. But my Dom and I like to do these types of scenes around dinner that just makes it really easy. If the kids are out of the house or they're at a friend's house, I will just go into full-time servant mode for my Dom. Um, he'll even a lot of times have me strip completely down. He'll have me take off all of my clothes and I will just serve him his favorite drink. I'll serve him the meal and I will wait for him to eat before I eat. A lot of times I will even eat on the floor beside him. And then when we're done eating, I take the plates, I clear the cups and everything. And then I am just in this, you know, service mode for the rest of the night. And this is just a neat way to have a scene that's not a typical scene that you would have maybe at a dungeon or in your bedroom. Because how would it feel to you if you could turn a small everyday act, like something like having dinner, and you can turn it into a sacred moment of devotion and power. But if you want to take something like this even deeper, you can layer in other rituals. So maybe you kneel every time you offer something. Maybe you add an honorific. Like I do this when I make my Dom's coffee in the morning. When I present it to them, um, you know, I tell them, here's your coffee, sir. You could create a little bow or a phrase that you use during access service, something that feels secret just between the two of you that maybe you can even do when other people are around. You can even create a service-only playlist. Um, it can be like soft background music you do every time you perform these different acts of devotion. So it's kind of like the Pavlov's dog thing, where every time you hear it, then you get into that service headspace. Um, and it really just takes you back there. Um, another way you can have a type of service scene. Um, if you're doing this at bedtime, maybe you have a busy schedule and you have to work the next day, but the the sub can set up everything that the DOM needs for bed, um, their clothes, their their toiletries, you uh the sub could set up the bed and just kneel and wait and not get in bed until they're given permission. So those are some of my favorite ways to incorporate service into a scene. But if you're craving something a little less solemn and a lot more mischievous, idea number four that I have is going to be some playful trouble for you because honestly, it's one of the most fun ways to brat while still keeping the dynamic really deeply connected. So, scene idea number four is punishment games or funnishment. So if you have a lot of brat energy or you want to explore playful discipline, this is for you. Because sometimes you don't need a heavy, serious punishment scene to really feel connected or to even feel like you're doing BDSM. You just need a little bit of mischief, a little bit of teasing, and a lot of delicious consequences. Funishment games are the perfect way to weave playfulness into your dynamic without losing that sense of structure, um, dominance, or submission in a typical BDSM scene. So setting this up is actually super easy, and honestly, half the fun is coming up with the rules together. So here's how you can do it: you can write down a bunch of playful infractions on a piece of paper. So things like talking back, rolling your eyes. I mean, I do that a lot with my DOM, um, forgetting to say an honorific, so forgetting to call your partner um sir or daddy or mommy, something like that. Then you would write out matching punishments, and these would be fun ones, so not nothing super harsh. And then you would just pull a random piece of paper whenever the sub breaks a rule, um, or you can make it more structured and roll a dice to decide what the punishment severity would be. And this turns every little bratty moment into an opportunity for connection and a little chaos. So, some ideas to get you started. So you can do something like five spankings for Bratty behavior, um, two minutes of kneeling in the corner if a submissive forgets a roll, having to write lines um with a crayon, um, speaking only in yes, sir, or yes, ma'am for you know, 10 minutes, you can set a timer. Um, and no matter what is asked of the sub, they have to respond that way. Um, but you can keep this as super light and playful and spicy as you want, or you can go even more hardcore, but whatever fits your energy that night. And one time when the kids were gone with my mom for the whole day, my my Dom decided to implement a no whining role for the whole day. Because sometimes when I'm getting a little little or bratty, I tend to whine a lot. So he made this rule that I couldn't whine for the whole day. And every time I whined, you know, about something small, sometimes I get frustrated because I can't open a jar and I whine or something or having to do chores. So anytime I whined, I lost a piece of clothing. And let's just say this game didn't last very long. I think we made it a couple hours, and I was basically in nothing but my socks because honestly, I like to whine a lot. But those are the play sessions that you will remember forever. Me and him still talk about it. I'm talking about it right now with you. Um, we remember these things, not because they were perfectly planned. We weren't at this elaborate dungeon with all these floggers and paddles, but it was just us being playful and incorporating kink. But if you really want to level this type of scene up, you can even create a punishment book. And every time the sub breaks a rule, it gets written down. You put the date, the infraction, what punishment was assigned. And you can build up longer-term consequences if you want to. So maybe, you know, five infractions in a week earns a bigger punishment. Um, or maybe you just it gives you a fun way to record all the times that the the sub was misbehaving. Um, but we kind of do this. We've done a calendar before where um, you know, if I my Dom is trying to train me with something, um, if I have a good day, maybe I get a sticker. Um, or if not, I get a big X on the calendar. And then I would either get a reward or a punishment. And um It's just something to keep it light and fun. But if you're craving something a little more emotionally intense, my fifth idea is going to give you exactly what you want. And it's all about trust and surrender and feeling completely held. So scene idea number five, well, actually wait after scene idea number five, because I have a bonus one too, but scene idea number five is sensual restraint and praise. So if you're going to explore this, tonight might be the night to just be completely held, not just in your body, but in your heart and your soul too. So sometimes the deepest surrender doesn't come from pain or impact. It comes from feeling totally safe, from being wrapped up, being restrained, being claimed, and even being adored and worshipped all at once. And you don't need elaborate rigging or intense gear to really create this feeling. You could simply just tie your partner's hands above their heads with maybe a necktie or a soft scarf and just, you know, making their body feel really open and exposed and vulnerable at this, you know, same time as feeling safe and cherished still. Or you can even take this as subtle as you want. Um, you know, even using your own hands to restrain your partner, um, you know, holding them down and keeping them still, maybe just using your body weight to weigh them down and just whispering words in their ear. Or if you want to build a longer scene around this, you can create a simple rope harness that really just focuses on containment. So something around the chest or around the hips. Um, so nothing, you know, painful, just being snug and grounded and just having that pressure that says, you know, you belong to me and you're you're safe here. So kind of think about how we swaddle babies. So it's the same concept. And then you can start layering praise into this because you know, imagine this, you're completely restrained, you're completely open, and instead of teasing or hurting you and causing you pain, you just hear this soft, steady voice in your your ear telling you, you know, you're mine, you you're perfect like this, you're you're safe, you're you're loved. I appreciate you. Because when when you're restrained, words have more weight. Um, every praise just sinks deeper. You're more receptive to hearing it. Um, every reassurance just lands harder because you have nowhere to to run. Um, so you just have this deeper trust that you experience. And I actually experienced this recently. There there was a night that I had last week. It was just after a really tough and rough week. Um, I had just done the Dom Sub Dynamics Virtual Summit, and it was a lot of work. It was so worth it. We had so much fun. But at the end of it, I was just feeling so exhausted and drained and in raw. And I was just kind of losing myself. And my Dom picked up on it. And before we started our scene, he just asked me one simple question. He asked me, you know, for our scene tonight, how do you want to feel? And I told him I wanted to feel safe, I wanted to feel seen and held and cherished. Um, you know, I'm a huge masochist. I've shared that before with you. And but in this moment, that wasn't what I was needing or wanting. So he took the time to really restrain me gently. Um, nothing intense, just enough to really keep me still. And then he spent what felt like forever just running his hands over my skin. No pain, no force, just touch. He did end up using the flogger on me, but just really using it super light, just using the tails to just really caress over my body. Um, you know, he would lean over me and and whisper in my ear just over and over how proud he was of me, how much he loved me, how much he valued the trust I was giving him in that moment during the scene. And at the end of it, I I cried, but I didn't, you know, cry from the pain like I maybe normally would have during the scene, but I cried from the relief, from finally feeling safe enough to really just completely let go. So my question to you is when was the last time you felt completely safe, um, completely seen? Um, or if you're the DOM, when was the last time you created a space like that for someone? Um, you know, seeing someone not for what you know they could do, but just simply for who they are. But if you want to deepen this type of scene even more, you can do things like adding soft background music, um, something slow and ambient and calming. You can, you know, put in that, you know, touch, you know, when you're restrained, um, fingertips, um, feathers, or you know, the tail ends of the flogger, like my dom did. And that way you're you're building the body's sensitivity while the mind still sinks deeper into surrender. Um, it's all about building layers of feeling. Um, so things like security, anticipation, pleasure. And if that kind of deep, intense surrender speaks to you, you're going to love the bonus idea I have that I'm going to share with you right now because it is one of my favorite quick scene ideas to create instant intensity, even if you don't have a lot of time tonight. So if you made it this far, here's your bonus scene idea. So this is the five-minute scene challenge. So it's where a scene will have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Um, you just go big or go home. Um, it can be playful or sweet, however you want it, but the point is you just do it. So some examples are a five-minute impact scene, a five-minute service scene, a five-minute restraint and praise scene. But the point is you just do this scene for five minutes. Because one of my favorite quick scenes we had was only five minutes. The kids were going to come home from a friend's house just around the corner. So we literally only had five minutes. So my dom actually set a timer and he just, you know, told me for these next five minutes, you're mine. And he pinned me against the wall, he told me what to do. Um, you know, we we did our our quick scene, and the timer went off, and I was still in the heat of it, and it just ended so abruptly. I was just so on edge. But he was like, Okay, that's enough, and just kind of patted me on the butt and let me go, but it just always still plays in my mind as one of my favorite scenes. So that is something you can do where you just set a timer and you just go and you have fun. So today you've got five plus one ways to make your BDSM scenes hotter, easier, and way more connected without needing hours of planning. I'm so excited for you. Now, of course, if you want the worksheets for putting all of these scenes together, go ahead and log into our scene creation mastery course at domsubliving.comslash community. If you're not a member of that course yet, in the description for this episode, I'm going to put a link to join. It's only $9 at the time of this recording. And the best part is when you log into domsubliving.com slash community after purchasing, you can go to the course. We have a whole training on how to troubleshoot a scene even and a whole QA session with questions about real life scenes. Again, it's only $9 right now, and how I'll have a link for it in the description too. But tell me in the comments which of the five scenes are you stealing first? And if you want more step-by-step scene guides and kinky ideas, subscribe to this podcast and check out the link to that course below because you deserve a night that doesn't just feel good, it feels unforgettable. But until next time, keep embracing your power and pleasure through Dom Subliving.