The Dom Sub Living BDSM and Kink Podcast
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The Dom Sub Living BDSM and Kink Podcast
10 Taboo Kinks: Which Are Normal vs. Truly Dangerous?
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#087 Are your darkest desires really that dangerous?
👉 Download the free checklist of 50 kinks at https://domsubliving.com/checklist
We're breaking down 10 taboo kinks—from pet play to CNC to pregnancy—and ranking them from safe to seriously risky. Find out which ones are more common than you think—and which ones even seasoned kinksters get wrong.
➡️ Free checklist of 50 kinks: https://domsubliving.com/checklist
➡️ Show notes and more: https://domsubliving.com/087
Your darkest fantasies, they're more normal than you think. I'm Alessandra from Dom Sub Living, and today we're talking about 10 Taboo Kinks. Which ones are safe, which ones are risky, and how to explore without judgment or shame. Welcome to the Dom Sub Living podcast. So we're diving into the 10 taboo kinks everyone's curious about, but most people don't talk about openly, let alone safely. And we're not just listing them, I'm giving you real talk. What's safe, what's dangerous, what needs serious caution, and why it matters if you're serious about living a responsible, satisfying BDSM lifestyle. And some of the most dangerous ones, they aren't what you think. I'll reveal one at the very end that even experienced players sometimes get wrong. But taboo desires are having a huge moment right now. You see it in dark romance novels that are, you know, flying off the shelves. There's true crime TikTok deep dives, even shows and books that are just really, you know, dripping with morally gray characters. But inside the BDSM and kink community, it's always pretty much been here. But now more people feel safe enough to admit they crave things that aren't exactly polite society approved or that go beyond 50 shades of gray. And maybe you've caught yourself wondering, is this fantasy I have normal? Is there something wrong with me? So if so, you're in exactly the right place. Because the truth is, having darker desires doesn't make you dangerous, but not knowing how to handle them can be. And I'll show you exactly how to spot the difference with real-world examples. But first of all, just a disclaimer, of course, always get consent, obviously, and consent needs to be ongoing, but nothing is 100% safe when it comes to kinks. Um, some are safer than others, and some are more dangerous or even very dangerous. So I'm going to be ranking these from safer to more dangerous. And I'll admit I've only done seven of these on this list. So I'll let you guess in the comments which ones I haven't done. And also be sure to let me know what kinks you think I should add to this list. So, taboo kink number one is pet play. So let's start off soft here. So, so this can involve things like leashes, um, collars, crawling, um, drinking out of a pet bowl, but it's this headspace where you know you're a you know, something like a playful puppy or a proud feline. Um, there's, you know, even cows, uh, horses, there's pretty much any animal you would want to be. But this kink is one of the safest. It's physically low risk, it's often silly. Um, a lot of us as kids kind of maybe um, you know, pretended we were an animal and acted like an animal. I know I did, but um, the reason this is even on our taboo list is because I'm sure you've heard the the discourse lately around furries and the bad rap that they're getting, where you know, even people want to ban even just you know, something as simple as putting on cat ears or meowing. It's kind of getting ridiculous at this point what people want to police. Um, but um pet play is a totally valid kink. Um, I have a friend who engages in puppy play, and she says that her puppy persona is just like her escape from anxiety, it lets her really just stop overthinking and just be. Personally, I'm more of a kitty cat though. But here's the thing: um, if your pet play becomes your only safe place, um, if you can't exit the role without putting yourself in distress, um, it's kind of time to reassess what may be going on because kink should enhance your real life and not just, you know, replace it. But if you think this kink is tame, pun intended, the next few we're gonna be going over get a lot more intense. So taboo kink number two is pregnancy kink. So pregnancy kink is about a desire for pregnant bodies. So, you know, it could be, you know, the ripeness of it, the fertility of it, the the vulnerability, um, the fact that there's a a baby inside of a person's tummy. It's just there's a lot going on. I know when I was pregnant, my dominant said I was like the the most sacred thing he had ever touched, but also like I was the most sexiest he had ever seen me. And intimacy during pregnancy can actually be very healthy and beneficial, but of course, it comes with some special consideration. So, you know, are you prioritizing your your partner's comfort? Are you flexible if maybe a yes becomes a no mid-sene? Um, because consent doesn't just start before a scene, it's obviously continuous, especially with pregnancy. So much is going on with a person's body, and of course, you need to be mindful of the safety of the baby as well. But I mean, come on, people are running marathons during pregnancy. So a pregnant person isn't just completely fragile. But a pregnancy kink isn't really talked about because of the perceived moral implications, too, probably um even because of things like the Virgin Mary story in the Bible. So um that is why this is on our list of taboo kinks. But kink number three on our list is forced feminization. But forced feminization is putting someone into feminine clothing, different roles, or even a head space, and there's often a lot of like humiliation involved with it too. And on the surface, it may sound odd to you, but in practice, for a lot of people, it's a path to really explore vulnerability and self-acceptance. I knew someone who said that you know, being forced into things like stockings and makeup finally gave them permission to really just enjoy that side of themselves without guilt. But it is a taboo kink because being feminine is seen as weak in modern society. Um, but there can also be some danger involved because what happens when humiliation becomes internalized self-hatred? Um, if a scene leaves you feeling small outside of the bedroom, too, that's kind of when it stops being healthy play and becomes emotional harm. So those are some of the things you have to watch out for if you want to enjoy this kink. But next, we're going to dive into a kink that really tests trust even harder. And that's just the start. So, taboo kink number four is cuckolding. So, cuckolding, that is where you are watching or knowing that your partner is sleeping with someone else. Um, some can find this humiliating, and others find it pretty dang erotic. And a a dom I once coached said that he just loved seeing his submissive glow after someone else had been with her. It made him feel even more dominant, you know, strangely enough for him, because this was his property, his submissive that he could allow others to enjoy. But here's the catch you need to watch out for. So is jealousy part of the fantasy, or is it creeping into real life in ways maybe you're ignoring? So if you're going to do this, scenes that you're doing, they they need to require like bulletproof aftercare and constant honesty with each other. Because what feels empowering at first can really shatter trust if even one need kind of does goes unspoken or you're not completely honest with each other. Cuck holding is getting more well known with non-monogamy and polyamory becoming more popular, but it is still pretty taboo. But this next kink on our list, I think, is one of the most divisive, even in the kink community, and I get the most online hate for it, and that is our kink number five, DGLG and Age Play. So if you don't know, DGLG stands for Daddy Dom Little Girl, and honestly, it can be any combination of genders like mommies and little boys, but it's where one partner becomes the nurturing caregiver and the other the little. Um, it's not about real minors. This is about consenting adults, it's about tapping into safety, different play, innocence. And some littles, like myself, find real emotional healing in this lifestyle, um, especially for those of us who never had safe childhoods. But you need to think, are you using this role to heal and enjoy yourself, or are you just trying to hide from your past or from your life? Um, you know, I always try to say that little should be able to adult when needed or in an emergency. Um, so if the play becomes your only mode of living, you may need to dig a little deeper to figure out what's going on. And next up, we're stepping into territory that can leave lasting scars, even with full consent. So be careful if you're going to explore this one. So, taboo kink number six is race play. And race play is controversial even within the kink community. Um, a lot of dungeons I go to have roles that they will not allow raceplay to happen inside their dungeons. Um, raceplay involves consensual scenes around racial power dynamics. It can involve slurs, domination, humiliation. It can involve certain implements like whips or even different uniform costumes. Um, some players feel like they're reclaiming power through it, um, but others find it very traumatizing even to see other people doing it. But I have had some students tell me that race play has helped them kind of reclaim narratives that maybe, you know, once really hurt them or their ancestors went through, but I've also seen relationships just kind of implode because people weren't honest about how deeply it was affecting them afterward and just kind of going along with it. And that happens on both sides of the slash, whether you're the person, you know, taking the lead in the the race play or you're you're being the submissive one too. It can affect both people. So if you're not ready to have brutally honest debriefs after scenes like this, um, you're not really ready for race play, like period. But I have people ask me um pretty regularly, can you teach about race play or can you do a training about it? And I always tell them, nope. Like I am not qualified to teach about it. You should be learning from someone who is of whatever race or ethnicity you are wanting to learn about in regards to race play. And there are a lot of amazing educators who are out there doing that. So definitely go follow them. But taboo kink number seven is body fluid play, and this involves all types of bodily excretion. So things like spit, urine, blood, and even more things. It's edgy, it's primal, it's messy even, and biologically it can be risky. Even between long-term partners, um, fluids carry bacteria, SDIs, and just a ton of other risks. Um, also, blood has high levels of iron that can make you very sick if you're ingesting it. So you always have to be careful with that too. Um, but I always tell people to treat fluid scenes the way you would treat any medical procedure. So having things like gloves, sterile tools, um, just you know, post-sine cleanup needs to be very sterile. But you have to ask yourself, is the risk of infection or disease truly worth the rush? And also, you need to make sure you've discussed post-exposure plans too, especially if you are doing it in a space where other people may be entering into later. Um, you need all those answers before you dive into something like bodily fluid play. Okay, taboo kink number eight is breathplay or choking. So breath play and choking are all about controlling air and or restricting air, and you know, obviously you're kind of like restricting and controlling someone's life too. Um, it's extremely hot and it can be extremely dangerous too, because the margin of error here is super tiny. I've literally seen scenes turn deadly like really fast because even a trained partner can slip up here. So that is why I only really talk about how to do this type of kink with private clients or students in my more premium programs, because if your hands are on someone's throat, you're you're holding their life. Um, so you really need to truly understand the responsibility that comes with that. Um, so you don't want to just jump into this. And again, there is just a huge liability risk for even teaching someone and educating someone on how to do this safely. But we are getting close to the end of our list, and we are now at kink number nine, and that is one of my favorites, and that is CNC, which is consensual non-consent. So CNC is where no doesn't always mean stop. It is just the ultimate head trip fantasy, and honestly, one of the riskiest. Um, but one of the reasons it's so taboo is because in society, forced submission is is well, I mean, it's illegal, and you you may really seem messed up in the head if you like, you know, doing that or experiencing that or doing that to someone. Um, but it can be a form of resistance play, and I like to frame it as I like it even when I don't like it. But CNC isn't just about acting rough, it's about the the layers of consent and negotiation and safe words and aftercare and contingency plans. But you need to know that even if everything went right, real trauma might still surface afterward. So are you prepared to deal with the fallout for yourself or your partner? So if not, definitely start smaller first. Now, before we get to taboo kink number 10, be sure to download my free checklist of over 50 kinks because we are just getting started. There are so many other darker kinks you can explore, but you can download the list for free at domsubliving.com/slash checklist. I'll put a link for it in the description too. But now, taboo kink number 10, the most dangerous kink on the list, the kink that is probably going to get me censored on here or canceled, and that is cannibalism. Now, cannibalism, whether you're really doing it or just having that fantasy, it it sounds extreme. It it is extreme. In the BDSM world, most cannibalism scenes are more symbolic. You have things like knife play, um, blood play, um, acting out being devoured. Um, but in the rarest, more taboo edges of the king community, it does actually happen. And there can be some huge repercussions, um, legal, physical, and psychological. Now, you may be thinking, how does this even work? Is it legal? Well, every government has their own laws, but this can happen even in the vanilla world. I heard a story once where a man was getting his leg amputated for whatever reason, and he thought it would be fun and cool with his friends to, after it got amputated, to have a barbecue with his friends and cook his leg and serve it up for him and his friends. And it was kind of a party to celebrate the fact that he was now gonna have an amputation. Um, so it does happen in the the vanilla world, but even in kink spaces, I've heard about it. There was a a mistress who part of the devotion for her submissive, she would cut up a piece of her flesh and give it to her submissives to eat. So it it does happen. And some people just have the the fantasy of it too. Um, you know, I'm sure you've heard the the news story a while ago about Army Hammer and how he was wanting to engage with in this with his partners. Um, that's you know a whole issue. I'm not going to go into. Because again, with a lot of these, I'm not going to advocate for it or teach you how to do it because it is so taboo and risky. And you may be thinking, yeah, I I can never do that. Um I can't believe that people are doing those types of things. But if this episode stirred something inside you, that's a good thing. Um, remember your fantasies aren't broken. You're not broken, you just need the right tools, the right partners, and the right mindset. So download my free checklist of 50 different kinks at domsubliving.com/slash checklists so you can start exploring darker kinks safely. I'll have a link for it in the description too. And let's make sure your kink journey leads to empowerment, not regret. Be sure to hit subscribe and comment below. Tell me which of these 10 taboo kinks surprised you the most. And I'll be down in the comments if I'm not canceled, and let's talk about it. And until next time, keep embracing your power and pleasure through Dom Subliving.